Stable of the Year
Tag Team of the Year
Drake and Jones
Bust of the Year
Next Up in 2017
Rookie of the Year
Return Moment of the Year
Comeback of the Year
Shocking Moment of the Year
Eclipse Diemos winning King of Elite 2016
Extreme Moment of the Year
Jacob Senn’s Curb Stomp on Lucian Black with glass shards in mouth
Supershow of the Year
Fighting Spirit 2
Vixen of the Year
EAW Champion of the Year
World Heavyweight Champion of the Year
Answers World Champion of the Year
Vixens Champion of the Year
Feud of the Year
Hexa-Gun vs. EAW
Match of the Year (Elitist)
Mr. DEDEDE vs. Ares Vendetta – Grand Rampage 2016
Match of the Year (Vixens)
Cameron Ella Ava vs. Sheridan Müller – Vixens Cup
Promoer of the Year
Vixen Promoer of the Year
Heart Break Gal
Writer of the Year
Elitist of the Year
(EAW intro plays…)
(Road to Redemption recap plays…)
(The camera pans to the sold-out, raucously cheering audience in The United Center in Chicago, Illinois, before panning to Pierre McGuire who walks up to the podium at the top of the stage. Pierre lets the moment breathe as the crowd now begin standing on their feet)
Pierre: First off, I want to welcome everyone here to a very special EAW Awards Show, hosted by none other than yours truly, and Showdown’s own… Pierre McGuire! But now the time to toot my horn has passed. We’re gathered here tonight to acknowledge the achievements by the EAW elitists who gave their blood, sweat and tears in the ring this year with a token of EAW’s appreciation.
SG1: Of course Pierre’s got something to say about himself.
Pierre: For the first award announced, you can’t go without mentioning every single vixen that put their effort into EAW this year. There have been dreams realized, dreams crushed, legacies built and destroyed. We’ve had reigning champions, untimely defeats, women who have crossed over and fought with men bravely and valiantly. But only one woman can stand proud with her head high and know at the end of the day that she is the Vixen of the Year.
(Pierre pulls out a card with the results and proceeds to read it before putting it down once more)
Pierre: The Vixen of the Year for 2016 is… ARIAAA JAXONNNNN!!!!!
(“Formation” by Beyonce hits and the crowd erupts with cheers as Aria walks up to the podium and is then handed her Vixen of the Year trophy by Pierre McGuire)
Pierre: Congratulations, Aria! Take the mic…
Aria Jaxon: Gladly! I’m shocked to win this award and so grateful, but I want to thank my family first and foremost, all of the people who have believed in me since I first stepped foot into EAW, of course all of my amazing fans — and there are so many of you! — and every person in the crowd tonight here in Chicago! I have had so many amazing moments already in my short career here in EAW, and I’m glad to call it home. But I want to be let it be known… This is just the start.
(“Formation” by Beyonce hits as Aria Jaxon takes her Vixen of the Year trophy and the capacity crowd in Chicago, Illinois roars once more for the vixen extraordinaire. Pierre waits for a handshake but Aria Jaxon doesn’t seem to notice as she goes to the back with a smile on her face)
SG1: Aria Jaxon did it! Aria Jaxon won Vixen of the Year and she did it with absolutely no frills. She is a credit to her division and her ability to adapt to whatever match she finds herself in is exactly why she won Vixen of the Year. There’s no one who can discredit the hard work she’s put in this year, and I’m not sure anyone outside of the enemies she’s made would even attempt!
Starr: Truly the class of EAW, without a doubt. There will be many more historic battles to come for Aria Jaxon, and I have no doubt more awards, but it’s time to take it to the action!
(The cameras transition to the arena as a ring announcer takes the center.)
Starr: Welcome back to the 2016 EAW Awards show! I’m StarrStan and this is my commentating partner, SG1!
SG1: Thanks, Starr! Tonight’s tag team match will test the strength that the OG’s claim they have after the grueling elimination Kendra Shamez took at Road to Redemption.
Starr: And also we get to see the debut of Manami Takahashi along with EAW’s only Elitists to make the MOST Make A Wish appearances… La Diva!
SG1: Holy hell, really? Kids’ last dying wish is to meet La Diva? Shit must be rough.
RA: Ladies and gentlemen… the following is a tag team match schedule for one fall!
(“Samurai Rider” by Kiyoshi Yoshida begins to play as a stern Manami Takahashi walks onto the stage. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as she enters the ring and does her signature pose.)
RA: Introducing first… hailing from Kanto, Japan… She is The Morning Star… MAAAAANAAMMIIII TAKAHAAAAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Starr: Manami is all business tonight and I have to say, she’s very fortunate to be having her debut on the Awards Show! Not everyone gets that privilege!
SG1: I think a major reason why she’s not giddy is because of who she has to partner with. I don’t blame her for being on the verge of tears, La Diva is a disgrace.
(As Manami’s theme stops, the lights dim down. “Breakdown” by Lady of Rage begins to blare all throughout the arena as an array of colored lights flash. La Diva walks out and begins to “dance” as the crowd applauds. La Diva rolls her way down the ramp and crawls into the ring. She begins to flip her head, grabbing her weave, as Manami steps back.)
RA: AND HER PARTNER, FROM RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA… LAAAAAAAAAA DIIIIIIIIIIIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Starr: IT’S LA DIVA! EAW’S PERSONAL DANCING LEGEND!
SG1: OH COME ON, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE’S HAVING A SEIZURE!
(La Diva slides out of the ring as she grabs La Chair.)
Ref: Hey! Take that chair out or you’re disqualified!
La Diva: La Chair and La Diva fight OG Vixens at EAW FPV Road to Redemption for Women’s Specialists Championship at EAW Awards La Chair.
(The ref steps back confused as “ULTRAnumb” by Blue Stahli begins to play. The beautiful Cameron Ella Ava emerges from backstage as the fans receive her with boo’s. She has a specially tailored “OG Vixens” tee and rips it off before making her way to the ring.)
RA: Introducing their opponents, first, hailing from Los Angeles, California… She is the GODDESS OF EAW… CAMERON ELLA AAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SG1: Man! That looked like tough material to just rip through… roids much?
Starr: HUSH! It’s time for some REAL Women action! Don’t be jealous, SG1!
(Cameron jumps in the ring and begins to stretch as her theme slowly dies down. “We Hate Everyone” by K. Flay is heard all throughout the arena as Kendra Shamez, also wearing an OG Vixens tee, makes her way down the ramp and onto the ring. She hops on the turnbuckle and gives StarrStan a wink.)
RA: And finally.. Her partner, hailing from Buffalo, New York.. she is the OG VIXEN… KENDRA SHAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SG1: Starr, are you Kendra’s anonymous aristocrat?
Starr: I don’t even know what aristocrat means, SG1, so don’t even try me right now. BUT HERE WE HAVE THE OG VIXEN! THE TRUE SPECIALISTS CHAMPION! FALL BACK, BRODY.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
SG1: That bell has rung and it’s time to get down to business! As we all saw earlier, it seems as if even though Cameron Ella Ava is the sole reason as to why Kendra Shamez isn’t Specialists Champion anymore, everything is at peace! Which is honestly very shocking; you would a
ssume that women with such HUGE egos would be down one another’s throat for such action! But I guess they already have some foreign object stuffed in there…
Starr: Are you trying to imply illicit things, SG1?! Enough of your backtalk, this is why women can’t have nice things! Anyway… It’s time to start this match off and it’s very clear that Cameron Ella Ava is starting off for the OG side. Cameron is standing in her designated corner ready to charge towards Manami, who is starting off for their side but Kendra just GRASPED the shoulder of Cameron bringing her back!
SG1: I KNEW THAT SOMETHING WAS UP!
Starr: SHUT UP AND WATCH! Cameron turns back but… is met with a warm hug!!! Kendra and Cameron are hugging! My heart can’t take this amazing sportsmanship!
SG1: I think I’m going to vomit.
Starr: The OG’s are strong as ever as Cameron focuses her attention on Manami. Both of the women circle around the ring as they grasp upon one another’s shoulders! Cameron gains the advantage as she puts Manami in a headlock. Manami’s technical skills are quite impressive as she quickly maneuvers her way out of the lock! Her quickness allows her to catch Cameron off guard and she kicks the back of Cameron’s knee! Cameron falls to one knee as Manami bounces off of the ropes and delivering a grueling bulldog! Manami goes for the pin!
Starr: But the Goddess of EAW won’t go down in that fashion! Cameron powers out as she seems rather insulted that this newcomer would ever DARE to pin her! And I agree! Cameron is wasting no time as she quickly pulls in Manami and THROWS her towards the ring ropes! Manami comes bouncing back as Cameron does a drop toe hold on the Kanto native! Manami is holding her chin as she slammed the mat HARD! Cameron drags Manami’s body over to the OG side and goes for the tag!
SG1: The OG Vixen which, BY THE WAY, WE’RE NOT CALLED THAT ANYMORE, goes in and pulls Manami up to her feet. She corners Manami and Kendra steps back… A HUGE CHOP TO THE CHEST! YOU CAN JUST HEAR THAT IMPACT FROM MILES AWAY! AND ANOTHER CHOP! AND ANOTHER! Manami wobbles as she’s about to fall to her bottom but Kendra provides assistance as… SHE LANDS ONE FINAL CHOP! Manami’s chest is beaming red and Kendra can’t get enough! Manami just collapsed as Kendra goes for the tag!
Starr: And Cameron is back into the ring but is met with several boos! Cameron and Kendra are noticing as they both begin to taunt the crowd. As Manami is on the ground gently touching her irritated skin, Cameron lowers herself with her as she begins to do pushups, taunting Manami and making La Diva extremely furious!
La Diva (without a mic): CAMERON CONSUELA ROSE ELLA AVA YOU ARE NO PARTNER OF MINE AT FPV ROAD TO REDEMPTION AWARDS SHOW!
SG1: Cameron just jolted up to her feet as she is in a shouting war with La Diva! The ref is trying to separate them and look at this! Kendra just entered the ring and is absolutely beating down Manami! Disgraceful! Kendra is placing her rubber boot to the face of Manami however, she quickly stops and goes back to the ring apron as Cameron focuses her attention on her opponent. Manami is still cornered as Cameron makes her way to the top turnbuckle… Cameron is eyeing her opponent as she jumps AND DELIVERS A SICKENING TORNADO DDT! OH MY GOD! THE WAY MANAMI’S HEAD LANDED MAKES ME WANT TO ERASE THAT FROM MY MIND! MANAMI LOOKS LIKE SHE’S COMPLETELY OUT! CAMERON GOES FOR THE COVER!
Starr: BUT LA DIVA JUST CAME IN AND BROKE THE PIN! BOTH KENDRA AND CAMERON ARE FURIOUS! LA DIVA IS JUST STANDING HERE SHOUTING INAUDIBLE WORDS TO THE OG VIXENS! Kendra grabs La Diva by her ring gear and throws her outside as she quickly follows. CAMERON IS ABOUT TO FOLLOW AS WELL BUT SHE JUST TUMBLED ONTO THE OUTSIDE! CAMERON WAS MET WITH A DROP KICK OUT OF NOWHERE TO HER SPINE! MANAMI TOOK ALL OF THE LITTLE ENERGY SHE HAD LEFT IN HER SYSTEM AND SHE USED IT TO POWER THROUGH! MANAMI IS CRAWLING HER WAY BACK TO HER CORNER.. LA DIVA JUMPS ON THE RING APRON AT THE SAME TIME… AND A TAG! A TAG IS FINALLY MADE, AND MANAMI’S CARCASS CAN FINALLY REST!
SG1: LA DIVA IS GOING WILD! SHE’S GOING UNDERNEATH THE RING AND PULLING OUT CHAIR AFTER CHAIR! THE RING IS BEGINNING TO BE FILLED UP WITH CHAIRS AS THE REF IS ORDERING HER TO STOP BUT SHE WON’T LISTEN! KENDRA AND CAMERON ARE STILL ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING AS THEY’RE WATCHING IN COMPLETE CONFUSION! AND HONESTLY, SO ARE WE! LA DIVA SEEMS TO BE CHANTING SOME RURAL SAYING IN HER NATIVE TONGUE! IS SHE CURSING ALL OF US? HER BRIGHT GREEN HAIR IS ALL OVER HER FACE AS SHE IS STILL CONTINUING TO FILL THE ENTIRE RING WITH CHAIRS!
Starr: BOTH CAMERON AND KENDRA MAKE THEIR WAY TO THEIR DESIGNATED SIDE AS CAMERON TAGS IN KENDRA. KENDRA IS ABOUT TO CHARGE AT A SAVAGED LA DIVA BUT LA DIVA QUICKLY USES A CHAIR AS SOME SORT OF SHIELD! KENDRA IS DEMANDING FOR THE REF TO DO SOMETHING! LA DIVA IS ABOUT TO DISQUALIFY ITSELF!
SG1: The ref is trying to plead with La Diva so she can drop the chair but she isn’t complying! Cameron is now on the outside of the ring and is asking the ref to change this into a no disqualification match! The ref is not having it but Cameron is going for her weapon of choice regardless! BUT AS THE REF HAS HIS BACK TOWARDS THE TWO LEGAL WOMEN, KENDRA GRABS ONE OF THE CHAIRS AND HITS LA DIVA RIGHT ON HER SKULL! THE SOUND THAT MADE MAKES ME CRINGE! THE REF IMMEDIATELY TURNED HIS ATTENTION BACK TO KENDRA AND LA DIVA TO FIGURE OUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED BUT KENDRA JUST FELL ON HER KNEES! THAT CONNIVING SNAKE! SHE’S SAYING THAT LA DIVA IS THE ONE WHO HIT HER! KENDRA IS RUBBING HER HEAD AS SHE IS SCREAMING IN “PAIN”.
Starr: OH GOD, I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT SIGHT IN YEARS! THE REF IS CONFUSED AND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Cameron comes back to her corner and Kendra quickly rises to her feet and tags her in! Cameron goes to La Diva and helps her rise to her feet… KNOCK BITCHES OUT! LA DIVA JUST GOT THE FOREARM SMASH OF HER LIFE! And finally, Cameron goes for the cover!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“ULTRAnumb” by Blue Stahli picks up where it left off as both Cameron and Kendra make their way to the center of the ring and have their hands raised in victory.)
RA: AND HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS… THE TEAM OF CAMERON ELLA AVA AND KENDRA SHAMEZ… THE O. G. VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENSS!!!!!
SG1: Cheated their way to another victory, disgusting!
Starr: IT DOESN’T MATTER, SG1! THE OG VIXENS ARE STILL STRONGER THAN EVER AND THEY ARE READY TO TAKE DOWN ANYONE WHO COMES WITHIN THEIR WAY! INSPIRATIONAL AT BEST!
Commercial: Don’t forget to check out the exclusive Sheridan Muller Interview where she completely SPILLS THE BEANS on backstage politicking, locker room bias and her newly published journal article; “Making Your Mark: The Controversial Way to Put Yourself in The Record Books!” Only on the EAWNetwork!
(Congratulations on winning Writer of the Year… Brian Daniels!)
(Congratulations on winning Supershow of the Year… Fighting Spirit 2!)
( Camera returns to the podium at the stage where Pierre McGuire is standing )
Pierre: THE HOST OF THE YEAR IS BACK WITH ANOTHER AWARD! Now, there are times in the industry that we work in when there is a need to step back. To heal, to refocus, to take time off, but sometimes when a person does that, they’re not able to perform to the same caliber that they did when they left. However, we have seen a few of those people not only return to be as good as they were, but EXCEED those expectations that were placed before them! The next award is for that elitist, the one that was able to make the return to EAW and validate themselves with an emphatic rise! Here are your nominees for COMEBACK OF THE YEAR!
( A highlight video plays showing footage of the following Comeback of the Year nominees: Jacob Senn, Drastik, Kendra Shamez, Lannister, and Drake Jaeger)
( Camera returns to the stage after the video package and Pierre is handed an envelope. He opens it up. )
Pierre: The winner and recipient for not only the COMEBACK OF THE YEAR AWARD… BUT THE EXTREME MOMENT OF THE YEAR AWARD TO FOLLOW… JACOB SENN!!!
(“Punisher” by Fire and Blood picks up on the sound system when Jacob Senn steps out with the EAW World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder, walking out in his ring gear as he smiles with confidence on his face, before he shakes Pierre’s hand and stands at the podium.)
Jacob Senn: Man, what a year this has been. I mean, this isn’t Elitist of the Year like I would like for it to have been, but that’s just because the legacy of Jacob Senn HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN! So I understand that the voters wouldn’t want to vote for me just yet, but I’m happy with these two awards because they represent something to me. The Comeback of the Year Award represents the hard work and the effort that I put forth into doing my mission in becoming world champion once again, the fight that I had taken to be able to make that mission a reality, and I did it with the Extreme Moment of the Year! That moment when I stomped Lucian’s face, filled with the glass shards that tore into his mouth, it was probably one of the best moments of my career!
(The crowd boos against Jacob Senn as he starts to laugh towards them about it.)
Jacob Senn: Ah, you can boo all you want, folks! You can hate what I did to that pathetic failure of an elitist, you can despise the fact that every single one of the men that you would rather hold this championship FAILED to take it away from me inside of the Elimination Chamber, and I KNOW you will be enraged when I am declared the Champion of Champions later into the night! With that said, for those of you that were smart enough to vote me to win these awards, I thank you for your support and knowing that I’m the face of this place! However, for those of you that decided to vote for some other loser, just keeping watch Dynasty because I’m just getting started on solidifying my name as the best man that has walked onto this roster! Thank you.
(“Punisher” by Fire and Blood plays in the background when Jacob Senn straps the EAW World Heavyweight Championship around his waist and holds both The Comeback of the Year and The Extreme Moment of the Year Award high in the air to celebrate, before he takes his leave.)
(Camera fades to the center of the ring where the ring announcer is standing.)
(“You are the Wilderness” by Voxhaul Broadcast hits as Matt Ryder walks out with the EAW Unified Tag Team Championship over his shoulder, and Matt Miles following closely behind as pyrotechnics shoot out and they both jog down the ramp.)
Ring Announcer: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Long Island, New York, weighing in at 225 pounds… HE IS ONE HALF OF THE EAW UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, MATT SQUARED…. MATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT RYDERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Kawajai: THE WOO! WOO! WARRIOR! Long Island’s Finest found a way to secure those championships at Road to Redemption Ten with his alliterated partner, Matt Miles! Although they found victory in a competitive, harsh match, we do not know how well Ryder will stand now as he faces off one on one with one his previous opponents…
(“King of the World” by Porcelain and the Tramps plays as The Heart Break Gal walks out, looking serious and determined while giving an arrogant smirk. She walks down the ramp with Athena Vendetta behind her, looking ravishing as usual.)
Ring Announcer: And his opponent… From Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 130 pounds… SHE IS ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY ATHENA VENDETTA… SHE IS THE CONSIGLIERE… THE HEARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BREAKKKKK GAL!
Cherish: Determined is an understatement when it comes to describing the way Heart Break Gal is carrying herself tonight. Coming out of Road to Redemption, she was the only one out of everyone in the tag title match to not come out with something to be proud of, but tonight I think she is looking to end any idea that she is the loser in the end. Ryder seems confident, but Heart Break Gal looks ready to kill him! Let’s go!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Jake Mercer: AND HERE WE GO! Matt Ryder and Heart Break Gal are circling the ring, Ryder with an evident smirk of self-believed superiority… AND HE SWINGS A RIGHT HAND! BUT HEART BREAK GAL DUCKS UNDERNEATH AND RUNS OFF THE ROPES! AND SHE SLIDES! BASEBALL SLIDE INTO THE BACK OF RYDER’S LEGS AND MATT DROPS TO HIS KNEES! Heart Break Gal stands up and looks at Ryder, who is looking up at her, shocked and pleading… AND HEART BREAK GAL WITH A ROUNDHOUSE! ANOTHER! A THIRD! BRUTAL ROUNDHOUSE KICKS TO THE FACE OF MATT RYDER OVER AND OVER AND HE IS BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE LIKE A FIRE HYDRANT! HE ABSOLUTELY HAS A BROKEN NOSE AS THE CANVAS IS BEING TO BE PAINTED CRIMSON! Heart Break Gal runs off the ropes… DROPKICK TO HIS FA–Matt Miles pulls his partner out of the ring, saving him from his demise!
Cherish: Miles is using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe and absorb some of the blood, mending to his tag team partne—LOOK OUT! THE HEART BREAK GAL LEAPS AFTER A RUNNING START! TOPÉ TO THE OUTSIDE! AND SHE TAKES OUT BOTH MEMBERS OF MATT SQUARED SINGLE HANDEDLY! SUCH IMMENSE POWER FROM THE GREAT RED DRAGON! She pulls Ryder to his feet and lays his face against the apron… AND THE HEART BREAK GAL RUNS DOWN THE SIDE OF THE RING, DRAGGING RYDER’S FACE AGAINST THE CANVAS AND THAT HAS TO BURN! ESPECIALLY ON THAT SIDE OF HIS FACE! THAT IS THE SIDE PLASTERED WITH CICATRIX FROM THE MATCH WITH DIA DEL DIABLO! AND THE HEART BREAK GAL PULLS MATT RYDER’S HEAD UP! AND SLAMS HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE CORNER POST! Ryder drops to his knees, crawling away as the referee counts five and blood continues to trickle from his nose, but Heart Break Gal lifts him up and rolls him into the ring.
Kawajai: She follows up behind Ryder and enters the ring, and she is kicking at his ribs every few seconds, poking fun at him and treating him like a cat treats a mouse! SHE IS TOYING WITH HIM! She pulls Ryder up to his fee–RYDER WITH AN UPPERCUT! AND A RIGHT HAND! A LEFT HAND! RYDER IS RALLYIN—THE HEART BREAK GAL KICKS HIM SQUARE IN THE GUT AND HE LEANS OVER! She runs off the ropes… RUNNING KNEE TO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD! She hooks Ryder in, and lifts him up… ATOMIC DROP OVER HER KNEE! She takes a step back… STEP-UP ENZUIGIRI FROM THE ENTITY OF EXTREME AND RYDER IS DOWN ON HIS KNEES AGAIN! She leans him over… AND THE DEATH BY BANE! THE CURB STO–MATT MILES PULLS RYDER OUT AGAIN! I HAVE NEVER SEEN MATT MILES PULL OUT ONCE, LET ALONE TWICE!
Cherish: Matt Miles is doing everything he can to keep his championship partner safe, but Heart Break Gal steps out and is trying to get at him! Matt Miles is having none of it, and he is protecting Ryder with all his mi–ATHENA VENDETTA PULLS MATT MILES BACK AND NOW RYDER IS EXPOSED! AND THE HEART BREAK GAL WITH THE TRAMP STAMP OUT OF NOWHERE! SHE JUST KICKED THE LIFE OUT OF MATT RYDER AND MATT MILES IS TRYING TO ATTACK HEART BREAK GAL! BUT RYDER IS WAVING HIM OFF, NOT WANTING TO GET DISQUALIFIED! I CAN’T BELIEVE RYDER CAN EVEN DO THAT, HE SHOULD BE DOWN AND OUT! Heart Break Gal grabs Ryder by the arm and rolls him into the ring, and follows up behind, breaking the count at six!
Jake Mercer: Our Tag Team Champion is being absolutely manhandled here as Ryder is using the ropes to try and claw to his feet using the last of his energy… AND RYDER TURNS! EVISCERATION FROM THE HEART BREAK GAL! THE HEART BREAK GAL CONNECTS WITH HER FINISHING MANEUVER! AND SHE ROLLS RYDER ONTO HIS BACK AND STEPS ON HIS CHEST FOR THE PIN!
ONE!……… TWO!…………. THREE!……….
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“King of the World” by Porcelain and the Tramps plays as The Heart Break Gal has her arm raised high and Athena walks up the steps and waits to walk with her up the ramp.)
Ring Announcer: And your winner… BY PINFALL! THE HEART! BREAK! GALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Cherish: Annihilation. Demolished. There are not enough brutal words in the English language to describe the way in which the Heart Break Gal just systematically tore apart Matt Ryder. If there was any question of superiority, it was answered tonight. There is not a doubt in the world that Matt Ryder has fallen a few notches down off his high horse, and Heart Break Gal has risen to the top again. She is not someone to take lightly from here on out.
(Camera fades to the screen showing all of the candidates for Rookie of the Year…)
(Congratulations on winning Rookie of the Year… Sheridan Muller!)
(The camera transitions back to the United Center as Pierre McGuire is seen standing at the podium on the stage)
Pierre: Tag Teams have always been a huge part of EAW, with many legendary teams throughout history. Through sheer teamwork, they thrived in the ring utilizing each other’s talents to the fullest, and tonight is where their hard work pays off! Here are the nominees for Tag Team of the Year:
(The camera cuts to a highlight reel of each nominee)
The Mighty Don’t Kneel
Drake & Jones
(The camera cuts back to Pierre at the podium, struggling to open the envelope)
Pierre: And the winners are… DRAKE AND JONES!
(The crowd boos as an enthusiastic Tiberius Jones and Drake Jaeger make their way out to the stage)
Pierre: Drake & Jones will also be accepting the Awards for Feud of the Year, won by Hexa-gun vs EAW, and Stable of the Year, won by Hexa-gun.
(Tiberius grabs the Stable of the Year Award and Feud of the Year Award while Drake grabs the Tag Team of the Year Award)
Drake: Are you people freakin’ idiots? Who voted US as the winners? Didn’t we do nothing but cause chaos last year? Didn’t Hexa-gun nearly take over EAW?
(Tiberius shakes his head)
Tiberius: Don’t you understand, Drake? I mean, WHY do you think this company was EXTREME Answers Wrestling for so long? They’re obviously nothing but a bunch of masochists! They LOVE being abused! They get off on being kicked around, and who kicked the shit out of them better than Drake & Jones and Hexa-gun?
Drake: You may be onto something, TJ, you just might be onto something. And here’s to another year of making this company our bitch! It’s a new era!
(Drake takes the InterWire Championship from around his waist and holds it up)
Drake: One in which Drake & Jones are the co-InterWire Champions! As long as I beat the sh*t out of each and every jackass trying to desperately climb out of that abyss of obscurity and keep this baby around my waist, it’ll always be OUR property!
Tiberius: And I’d like to personally congratulate Lannister on having the skill to climb a ladder! I’d like to congratulate him on the skill it takes to hit someone with a briefcase! Truly a man that got his ass beat by my mentor at Pain For Pride in his first match back after miserably failing as World Champion has earned such a big moment! Congratulations on all of that skill!
Drake: Now, now, TJ, that’s in the past.
Tiberius: He got beat up by a retired Kevin Devastation, Drake!
Drake: Calm down, calm down… What’s the most important thing here?
(Tiberius reluctant mumbles something)
Drake: TJ… What’s the most important thing?
Tiberius: …. That The Pizza Boy got his ass kicked.
Drake: That’s right. THAT’S what Christmas is all about! Through all of the tragedy and heartbreak of the year, we can all come together on this joyous occasion to celebrate the fact that The Pizza Boy got his ass kicked in the end. That’s a merry Christmas to me! But you know what? I’m a giving person.
(Drake turns to Tiberius)
Drake: TJ, I know it’s not Christmas yet, but… Well, I wanted to give you a present.
(Tiberius sarcastically gasps)
Drake: I want to give you the gift of me giving Nico Borg and Jon McAdams a Grade-A ass kicking for Christmas.
Tiberius: Aww, Drake, you shouldn’t have! This is too much!
Drake: I just want to show you and HBG and Impact how much you guys mean to me.
(TJ and Drake briefly hug and laugh as the crowd boos)
Tiberius: But seriously, before we go, I’d like to make it clear that this… This isn’t just about Drake and Jones. It also isn’t about you. IT’S ABOUT HEXA-GUN!
Drake & Jones: HEXA-GUN! HEXA-GUN! HEXA-GUN!
Tiberius: Gone, but not forgotten!
(Tiberius and Drake laugh as they hold up all of their Awards before Drake makes his way down the ramp and to the ring for his match while “The Final Boss” by contRoVersy plays all throughout the United Center)
(The camera returns over to ringside with the ring announcer being made to have the sole focus for the camera, looking straight into it, before he raises the microphone.)
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!
(“Final Boss” by ContRoVersy echoes throughout the arena when Drake Jaeger stands on the stage with his Harem of women following behind him, moving his jacket open to reveal the EAW Interwire Championship, before he confidently struts down the ramp vocalizing to his own song, much to the disgust to the crowd.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing their opponent, he is from Japantown, Vancouver, Canada… weighing in at 203 pounds… he is the EAW INTERWIRE CHAMPION… accompanied by his Harem… DRRAAAKKKKEEEEE JAAEEEGGGEEEERRRRR!!!
Stew-O: Congratulations to Tiberius Jones and him for being named Tag Team of the Year, however this man will do whatever he has to do in order to get a victory! When he won the championship, he held onto to the referee for a distraction and nailed TLA in the groin to be able to win the title! However, tonight we could see him take this match and beat two champions in one night!
(“You Want It Darker” by Leonard Cohen fills the arena when Nico Borg walks out to the stage with the EAW National Elite Championship on his shoulder as he’s met with the hatred of the crowd before walks down the ramp with a smile on his face.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing his opponent, he is from Valetta, Malta… he weighs in at 196 pounds… he is the EAW NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION… NIICCCOOOOO BOORRRGGGGG!!!
Jake Mercer: This man was one of the fast-rising talents of Dynasty and on Showdown, he’s been a booming success as he was able to not only claim the EAW National Elite Championship, but he’s been able to compete in the Elimination Chamber for the world championship, only able to be eliminated by then-champion Ares Vendetta! Tonight, this match could definitely go to his favor!
(“Iron (Mystery Jets Remix)” by Woodkid hits the speakers when Jon McAdams steps out to the stage with a posh attitude radiating off of him, with the EAW Hardcore Championship buckled around his waist, as he marches down to the ring with the crowd not too fond of him.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, he is from London, England… weighing in at 199 pounds… he is the EAW HARDCORE CHAMPION… JOOONNNNN MCCAAADDDAAAMMMMSSSSS!!!
Stew-O: After a great retention against Drastik at Road to Redemption, Jon McAdams looks to make a string of victories appear as he has brought himself to this match of champions to make sure that he’s known as the best! However, after the implementation of those rules from Drastik, maybe he might be losing his title tonight? I don’t pay attention to those Voltage guys anymore, so I don’t know anymore…
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: The match has begun WITH JON MCADAMS NOT WASTING ANY TIME AS HE WANTS TO MAKE A HUGE STATEMENT IN THIS MATCH AS HE RUSHES RIGHT TOWARDS DRAKE JAEGER! Jon shoves Drake into the turnbuckle corner STARTS GOING RIGHT AFTER HIM WITH THE STRIKES TO THE FACE AND HEAD BEFORE DRAKE FINALLY IS ABLE TO SHOVE JON AWAY FROM HIM TO GET SOME SEPARATION! NICO BORG DECIDES HE WANTS TO GET IN THIS AND RUSHES TO THE TURNBUCKLE CORNER TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A CORNERED FOE! Both of these men have made it clear that they believe Drake Jaeger will be the biggest threat in this match and from my point of view, I would have to agree! Drake is able to shove Nico away from him OPENING IT UP FOR JON TO HOOK UNDER NICO AND ROLL HIM DOWN ON HIS SHOULDERS FOR THE PIN!
Jake Mercer: DRAKE JAEGER PUTS AN END TO THE PIN ATTEMPT AS HE LANDS A HEAVY STOMP INTO THE BACK OF JON MCADAMS! Drake has potentially saved this match for himself and he looks to make Jon pay for that BUT NICO BORG STANDS TO HIS FEET AND STRIKES WITH A STIFF ELBOW STRIKE TO THE JAW! Nico continues to blast him with these shots before he finally grabs him by the arm THROWING HIM ACROSS THE RING WITH THE WHIP! NO! DRAKE SPINS OUT AND IS ABLE TO TOSS NICO INTO THE ROPES! Nico catches himself on the ropes with a visibly irritated Drake staring back AS HE RUSHES IN AS HE IS MET WITH A MASSIVE DISCUS LARIAT FOR HIS TROUBLES! Drake is floored as he rolls to the outside where he is catered to by the Harem at ringside when Nico turns around CAUGHT WITH THE SWINGING NECKBREAKER! JON ROLLS NICO ON HIS SHOULDERS AS HE HOOKS HIS LEG FOR THE PIN!
Referee: ONNNEEE!!!… TWWWOOO!
Stew-O: NICO BORG THROWS HIS SHOULDER UP OFF THE CANVAS WHEN JON MCADAMS NODS HIS HEAD IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT! Jon grabs Nico by the head and brings him up to his feet BUT IS MET WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT BY NICO ON THE TRIP BACK TO HIS FEET! Jon stumbles back from the shot with Nico rushing to the ropes GRABBED ON THE ANKLES BY DRAKE JAEGER AS HE PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING AND TO THE FLOOR! Nico is taken by surprise by this AS HE IS RAMMED INTO THE RING APRON WITH THE SHOULDER THRUST! Nico collapses as Drake believes that he’s been taken out of the match ROLLING BACK INTO THE RING BEFORE HE’S MET WITH A HARD RIGHT HAND BY JON!
Jake Mercer: Drake Jaeger holds his jaw right when Jon McAdams starts to throw another heavy fist BUT DRAKE HOLDS HIS PALM RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF JON TO STOP HIM! Drake starts to mime the actions of the Japanese version of Rock, Paper, Scissors! JA! JAN! KEN! HE SPINS AROUND AND STRIKES WITH AN DISCUS PALM STRIKE TO THE FACE! Jon holds his face BEFORE HE STRIKES WITH ANOTHER PUNCH TO THE FACE! Drake stumbles back again before he repeats the method that he did before! JA! JAN! KEN! DRAKE TURNS AROUND AND STRIKES WITH A HUGE DISCUS PUNCH TO THE FACE! This causes Jon to stumble back a bit further with Drake rushes to the ropes to pick up speed RETURNING WITH THE GAE BOLG! A SPEAR FROM THE INTERWIRE CHAMPION AS HE RIPS RIGHT THROUGH JON MCADAMS! DRAKE HOLDS HIM DOWN ON THE CANVAS AND HOOKS HIS LEG FOR THE PIN!
Referee: ONNNEEE!!!… TWWWOOO!!
Stew-O: JON MCADAMS IS ABLE TO KICK OUT OF THE PIN AS DRAKE JAEGER HAS YET TO DO ENOUGH TO THE HARDCORE CHAMPION TO PUT HIM DOWN! Drake points down to Jon with a gun sign LOOKING TO TAKE HIM OUT WITH THE DEVIL TRIGGER IT SEEMS LIKE! HE SPRINTS BACK TOWARDS THE ROPES AS HE IS STOPPED WITH AN ENZIGURI THAT ALMOST TAKES HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF! Drake drops down to a knee from the blow when Nico grabs him on his shoulders LIFTING HIM UP IN THE AIR AS HE SEEMS TO WANT TO PUT HIM AWAY WITH THE MALTESE CROSS! OVER-THE-SHOULDER BACK-TO-BELLY PILEDRIVER! HE FLATTENS DRAKE WITH THE SLAM INTO THE CANVAS AS HE STAYS ON HIM FOR THE PIN!
Referee: ONNNEEE!!!… TWWWOOO!!!…
Jake Mercer: DRAKE JAEGER IS STILL ABLE TO GET HIS SHOULDER OFF THE CANVAS! Nico Borg thought that he would be able to put this man away with that move right there, but he decides that it’s time to end it! Nico pulls Drake up to his feet HOOKING HIM UNDER HIS LEGS AS HE LOOKS FOR THE LAST RITES! HE THROWS HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS… BUT DRAKE LEAPFROGS DOWN TO HIS FEET AS HE RUSHES THE ROPES! He bounces on the ropes and returns to Nico TO HIT HIM WITH THE DEVIL TRIGGER! WAIT! NICO ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, BUT JON GETS THE FULL EFFECT OF THE BICYCLE KNEE LIFT AS HE IS DROPPED TO THE FLOOR! DRAKE COULD HAVE THIS WON! Drake rushes in to go for the pin attempt BUT NICO PICKS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR! NICO QUICKLY DROPS DOWN TO THE HARDCORE CHAMPION AND HOOKS HIS LEG FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT!
Referee: ONNNEEE!!!… TWWWOOO!!!… THHHRRREEE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“You Want It Darker” by Leonard Cohen plays in the background when Nico Borg stands on his feet and is handed his National Elite Championship from the referee.)
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner… NIICCCOOOOO BOORRRGGGGG!!!
Stew-O: Unbelievable! Nico Borg has just stolen this match from Drake Jaeger as he would have had this won if Nico didn’t just throw him off! Dynasty would have won this match, but Nico stole the match from our EAW Interwire Champion!
Jake Mercer: There’s no shame in this defeat, Stew! Nico did what he had to do to walk out with the win and he did just that! Don’t worry about him being on Showdown, just look at what happened and be happy for the kid! He just picked up a major victory and who knows? Maybe he just won himself Voltage’s Hardcore Championship if he talks to the right people?
(Nico Borg rolls out of the ring and goes the timekeeper, grabbing the EAW Hardcore Championship and holding it high in the air, before he finally just throws it back into the ring with Jon McAdams. You can see the Harem start to console Drake Jaeger about this loss while they hand him his EAW Interwire Championship, looking with hatred to Nico, as he continues to celebrate this victory.)
(Congratulations on winning Shocking Moment of the Year… Eclipse Diemos winning 2016’s King of Elite!)
(Congratulations on winning Next Up in 2017… Nico Borg!)
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for ONE FALL!!
(“The Wreckoning” – Nonpoint hits as Scott Oasis marches through the curtain to a chorus of jeers.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in tonight at 260 POUNDS!! HE IS “THE ICE MAN”… SCOTT OAAAAAAAAAASSSSSIISSSSSS!!!
Stew: In what very well may be their last battle, Scott Oasis walks down to the ring preparing for war against Methuselah. We’ve watched these two men completely tear each other apart for months. Dynasty, Red Wallz, the Elimination Chamber – all barely able to contain these two men from tearing their way through the arena! You may want to put your children away, ladies and gentlemen, this one isn’t going to be too pretty.
Mercer: I’m calling it now – SCOTT OASIS IS GOING TO DESTROY METHUSELAH! After that Elimination Chamber, neither of these two men are going to walk into this match at 100%, but for Methuselah to be forced to recover after that BRUTAL assault from the returning Xavier Williams at Road to Redemption – there’s no way that his neck is going to be in any condition to survive Oasis’ onslaught…
“I SHOOT THE LIGHTS OUT…”
“HIDE TIL’ IT’S BRIGHT OUT…”
“WOAH, JUST ANOTHER LONELY NIGHT…”
“ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE YA LIFE…”
(“Monster” – Kanye West hits as Methuselah slowly makes his way through the curtain to an ERUPTION of cheers with Soothsayer Hamasa. Meth stands on the stage, his eyes completely locked on Oasis who stands unmoved in the ring.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing his opponent, from The Solitary Candle in the Villa of Ormen, weighing in tonight at 16.47 STONE!! HE IS “THE THANE OF EAW”… HE IS “THE MONSTER”… MEEEEEEETHHHHUUUSSEELLLAAHHH!!!!!
Stew: LOOK AT THE EYES OF METHUSELAH – ALREADY FILLED WITH COMPLETE FIRE AND DETERMINATION!
Mercer: Looks do nothing, Stew! Methuselah is walking into a slaughter! Scott Oasis is going to pick apart the bones. He’s going to break Methuselah until there’s nothing left of the man. This isn’t going to pretty. This isn’t going to be for the light-hearted. Prepare for the worst. Prepare for the end of Methuselah.
(Meth enters the ring as Scott stands in his corner with a vile smirk on his face. Meth takes off his jacket and hands it to Hamasa as the referee checks both Scott Oasis and Methuselah down. The referee calls for the bell…)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Mercer: The bell rings and this match is now underway! Methuselah and Oasis giving each other the thousand yard stare, neither man has moved an inch. Oasis slowly moving forward as Meth glances down at Hamasa… SPEAR?! METHUSELAH RIGHT OFF THE BELL ALMOST CUTS SCOTT OASIS IN HALF WITH A SPEAR!! SHADES OF LUCIAN BLACK AND SCOTT OASIS AT PAIN FOR PRIDE EARLIER THIS YEAR!! METHUSELAH DOESN’T GO FOR THE COVER, INSTEAD BACKING UP INTO THE CORNER!! METHUSELAH WANTS TO FINISH THIS EARLY, I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST!! OASIS CLUTCHING AT HIS STOMACH AS METHUSELAH STALKS!! METHUSELAH WANTS ANOTHER – BUT SCOTT OASIS WISELY ROLLING UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE!! CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT’S GOING THROUGH THE MIND OF SCOTT OASIS, STEW?
Stew: PAIN FOR PRIDE IS A NIGHT THAT OASIS WOULD SURELY LOVE TO FORGET AND I THINK THAT METHUSELAH FULLY INTENDS TO USE THAT TO HIS ADVANTAGE!! A HUGE smirk crossing the face of Methuselah as he looks down at Oasis who’s trying to regain his composure – WAIT!! LOOK OUT!! STEP OFF CORKSCREW CON HILO!! METHUSELAH FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHES INTO OASIS!! OASIS FALLS BACK INTO THE BARRICADE, BUT HE’S STILL STANDING! METHUSELAH SHOOTS BACK INTO THE ROPE AND LOOKS TO FLY AGAIN!! TOPE CON HILO!! VINTAGE METHUSELAH—- OASIS CAUGHT HIM!! METHUSELAH’S IN A BAD, BAD POSITION!! POWERBOMB!! POWERBOMB ON THAT THIN PADDING THAT COVERS THAT CONCRETE FLOORING!! THE GRIP OF OASIS REMAINS UNBROKEN AS HE POWERS METHUSELAH BACK UP AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH ANOTHER!! EXCRUCIATING PAIN HAS TO BE SHOOTING THROUGH THE BODY OF THE MONSTER!! OASIS ISN’T FINISHED, THE GRIP REMAINS STRONG – AND SCOTT OASIS SWINGS METHUSELAH HEAD AND SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE!!
ONE!… TWO!… THREE!…
Mercer: OASIS JUST STANDING OVER METHUSELAH WHO’S ALMOST MOTIONLESS! IN AN INSTANT OASIS HAS TAKEN METHUSELAH DOWN! IN AN INSTANT SCOTT OASIS HAS BRUTALIZED METHUSELAH!! Oasis dragging Methuselah back up and rolls him under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Like I said, Oasis is going to pick at the bones of Methuselah now; he has the man exactly where he wants him. Methuselah pushing himself up to his hands and knees – AS OASIS LOCKS HIM BY THE WAIST AND DEADLIFTS METHUSELAH UP!! GERMAN SUPLEX!! METHUSELAH DROPPED ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!! The momentum shooting Methuselah back up to his feet and back into the corner AND SCOTT OASIS BURSTS ACROSS THE RING AND DRIVES THAT SHOULDER INTO THE MIDSECTION LIKE A FREAKING FREIGHT TRAIN! THE SPEED OF THE BIG MAN IS AWE INSPIRING! ALL OF THE AIR DRIVEN OUT OF THE LUNG OF METHUSELAH!!
Stew: METHUSELAH IS RESPONDING BACK WITH AN ARRAY OF RIGHT AND LEFT PUNCHES, BALLISTIC SHOTS COMING THE WAY OF SCOTT OASIS, BUT OASIS RESPONDS WITH A JUMPING KNEE OT THE CHEST! You can see Meth grasping for air – and if you can’t breathe, you can’t fight. After those powerbombs to the outside and that brutal shoulder to the midsection, Methuselah could have some broken ribs, a crushed spleen – some major damage done. But, for some reason, Hamasa seems completely unfazed, just watching on. Oasis powering Methuselah up to the top rope, looking for something big here – these constant power moves give Methuselah no chance to recover. Oasis making his way up to the middle rope and cracks Methuselah with a headbutt to the bridge of the nose. Methuselah’s stunned as Oasis powers him up and over his shoulder – NO, NOT AN AIR RAID CRASH FROM THE TOP!! METHUSELAH’S TRYING TO FIGHT IT, HE KNOWS THE DANGER HE’S IN!! METHUSELAH’S ABLE TO SLIDE OFF THE BACK – THIS IS A POSITION THAT OASIS ISN’T TOO USED TO BEING HIM HIMSELF!! METHUSELAH WALKING OUT OF THE CORNER WITH OASIS UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!! METHUSELAH WITH HIS OWN POWERBOMB TO SCOTT OASIS!! LOOK AT HAMASA. LIFTING HER RIGHT ARM UP INTO THE AIR – AND – WHAT STRENGTH FROM METHUSELAH!! METHUSELAH POWERING SCOTT OASIS BACK UP, AND THIS TIME LAUNCHES HIM BACK INTO THE CORNER WITH A BUCKLEBOMB!! THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF SCOTT OASIS CRASHING INTO THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE!!
Mercer: METHUSELAH SHOWING NO INTENTION OF SLOWING DOWN – RAPTURE!! HELLUVA KICK CONNECTS FLUSH!! OASIS IS REELING!! METHUSELAH’S LOOKING FOR ANOTHER – WHAT!! A!! LARIAT!! OASIS CHARGES OUT OF THE CORNER AND TAKES METHUSELAH’S HEAD OFF WITH A LARIAT!! METHUSELAH’S ON DREAM STREET!! METH STUMBLING BACK UP AND OASIS POWERS HIM UP INTO POSITION!! ARE YOU READY, STEW!! IT’S OVER!! SEEK!! AND!! DESTROY!!!!!! PSYCHO DRIVER TO METHUSELAH!! SCOTT OASIS ROLLS METHUSELAH OVER AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!
ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! THREEE– KICKOUT!!
Stew: NO!! NO!! METHUSELAH POWERS OUT!! OASIS IS LIVID!! OASIS TEARING OFF THOSE MMA GLOVES AND MOUNTS METHUSELAH!! SCOTT OASIS FIRING AWAY AT THE HEAD WITH THOSE CLOSE FISTED SHOTS AS THE REFEREE TRIES TO DRAG THE MAN AWAY!! OASIS REFUSES TO RELENT!! MONTHS OF FRUSTRATION COMING TO THE SURFACE!! THE REFEREE BEGINNING TO COUNT…
ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! FOUR!! FIV-
Stew: OASIS RELENTS, BUT THE MAN IS RUNNING A FINE, FINE LINE HERE!!
Mercer: Methuselah getting dragged back up to his feet by Oasis – Meth looks to be out on his feet. Oasis powering Methuselah back up, it’s surely over if he’s able to connect with another! Methuselah trying to fight out of it! Elbow! Elbow! Another! Four! Five! Six! Unforgiving shots to the head of Scott Oasis! Methuselah’s able to slide off the back of Oasis and shoves him away! Oasis turns around and charges back! SPEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!! OASIS GETS CAUGHT BY ANOTHER SPEAR!! METHUSELAH CLUTCHING AFTER THAT SPEAR, IT’S JUST SHOWS HOW HARD HE HIT THE MAN!! BUT OASIS DOESN’T GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO PIN, DEFIANTLY PUSHING HIS WAY BACK UP!! HOW DOES THE MAN DO IT?! A SMILE?! A SMILE CROSSING THE FACE OF METHUSELAH AS HE SHOOTS BACK UP TO HIS FEET!! OASIS IS UP – AND METHUSELAH CUTS HIM BACK DOWN WITH ANOTHER SPEAR!! METHUSELAH IS GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT OASIS CAN NO LONGER STAND!! METHUSELAH DOESN’T COVER, GETTING BACK UP AND BACKING INTO THE CORNER AGAIN!! AND HE SPRINGS UP TO THE TOP!!!! METHUSELAH LOOKING FOR THAT KILLSHOT!! THE MAN WITH THAT WILD LOOK IN HIS EYES, ALMOST RIPPING HIS HAIR FROM THE ROOTS!! STAY DOWN OASIS, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHAT’S WAITING FOR YOU!!
Stew: DIVING SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!! A DIVING SPEAR TO SCOTT OASIS, FLYING HALF WAY ACROSS THE RING AND TEARING THROUGH HIS OPPONENT!!!! METHUSELAH HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!!
ONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Monster” – Kanye West hits as Methuselah stumbles back to his feet…)
Ring Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL!!! MEEEETTTHHHUUUUSEEEELLLAAAHHH!!!!!!!
Stew: METHUSELAH DID IT!! METHUSELAH WINS!! METHUSELAH WINS!! METHUSELAH HAS PUT AN END TO THE WAR WITH SCOTT OASIS!!
Mercer: Hard hitting from start to finish. There was no warming up from either – they went out all guns blazing and Methuselah managed to overcome that behemoth.
(“Lydia” – Highly Suspect hits…)
Mercer: YES!! YES!! IT’S THE MAN THAT RETURNED AT ROAD TO REDEMPTION!! XAVIER WILLIAMS IS HERE!!
(“Lydia” continues to blast through the speakers of the arena as Methuselah’s eyes remain locked on the stage.)
Stew: LOOK OUT!! XAVIER WILLIAMS WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF METHUSELAH!! TWICE NOW – TWICE XAVIER WILLIAMS HAS ATTACKED METHUSELAH!! XAVIER POWERS METHUSELAH BACK UP AND LAUNCHES HIM SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE CORNER!! YOU COULD HEAR THE SOUND TO FLESH MEETING STEEL!! THAT SAME VILE SMILE CROSSES THE FACE OF METHUSELAH AS METHUSELAH PUSHES HIMSELF OUT OF THE CORNER!! NOT AGAIN!! NO!! PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!! XAVIER WILLIAMS SPIKES METHUSELAH ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH THAT PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!! WHY?!
(Xavier gets to back to his feet as Methuselah remains motionless. Security and medical staff rush into the ring, taking Xavier away and checking on the downed Methuselah.)
Stew: The second time in less than a week that Xavier Williams has spiked Methuselah with that Package Piledriver – the man was away for four months, when are we going to get answers? What is going to be Methuselah’s retaliation? I have no idea on the answers, but I can’t say that they’re going to be pretty…
(Xavier’s dragged away as the medical staff check the neck of Methuselah. The camera slowly fades to black as Meth tries to sit up.)
(Camera pans back to the podium where Pierre McGuire puts his face up against the microphone)
Pierre McGuire: EAW has had so many amazing matches in 2016, and the vixens have been just as or more impressive than anything else. As always, it’s hard to single out one competitor from the rest, let alone one match! There’s one match that stands out from the rest, though, one match that fits every possible criteria of excellence and stands entirely in a class of its own…
(Pierre pauses for a moment as the crowd cheer)
Pierre: The winner for Vixens Match of the Year is… Cameron Ella Ava vs Sheridan Muller at the Vixen Cup!
(“ULTRAnumb” by Blue Stahli hits as Cameron Ella Ava makes her way up to the podium to a mixed reaction from the audience)
Pierre: Everybody, give it up for the woman accepting this award tonight, Cameron Ella Ava!
(Pierre steps aside as Cameron takes to the podium)
Cameron: Rightfully so, Pierre. I bust my butt every single week, week in and week out, dominating over all of my competition, excelling in high stakes matches, taking the fight to everybody in my path. Unsanctioned matches, tournament matches, matches against the opposite sex, matches against women who are a little masculine if you know what I mean… It doesn’t matter. Almost every great match that a vixen has been in, I have been at the forefront of, and this award that I’m accepting right now only proves that fact. Get a look, Chicago… Get a look at greatness.
(Cameron Ella Ava holds the Vixens Match of the Year trophy up high above her head before “ULTRAnumb” by Blue Stahli plays over the speakers again. Cameron soaks her moment in before walking to the back)
SG1: Cameron is not very humble in accepting her award. I mean, it took two to get that award, but she said it herself, she’s greatness.
Starr: No doubt. As we head to the next match, remember that a lot of young vixens want to emulate the success Cam has had.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a number one contendership match for a Women’s championship shot of the winner’s choosing!
(“Confident” by Demi Lovato hits to raging boos from the crowd. Cailin Dillon steps out with the EAW Women’s Championship over her shoulder as she makes her way to the commentary table, doing her best to ignore the spiteful reaction she’s receiving. She makes her way down the ramp and over to the commentary table.)
SG1: Well, that’s about the reaction you’d expect for Cailin. She may be the new and first ever Women’s Champion, she may have defeated Sheridan Müller all by herself at Road To Redemption, but she lost the respect of the EAW fans when she turned her back on her friends and family for the sake of what? The OGs? Championship gold around her waist? Is that even worth it? No one will ever see her the same again.
Starr: I’m seeing her pretty well, SG1, and she’s looking mighty fine! I’m not just saying that because she’s a pureblood American citizen, either! Now shut up and show the Women’s Champion some well-deserved respect! She’s out here to commentate, not to be judged.
(As Cailin takes her seat at the commentary booth, “Am I a Psycho” by Tech N9ne ft. B.o.B. and Hopsin plays to more boos. Brody Sparks walks out smirking. She laughs at the audience before following in Cailin Dillon’s footsteps and sitting down for commentary.)
Starr: Welcome to the both of you! It’s great to finally have two REAL champions with us. Nothing against Kendra, of course- I could never hold anything against her- but we finally have a true Women’s Champion. Not a Vixens Champion, not some other dumb name like “Divas Champion”, but a Women’s Champion. Not only that but we’ve crowned a new Specialists Champion while we’re at it! The two of you couldn’t be more deserving.
SG1: And you couldn’t be more of an asskisser.
Brody: Thank you, Starr. Maybe later backstage after the show I could show you some appreciation for your kindness? If you catch my drift.
Starr: Well, while the world may never know what this gold medal I carry is truly for, the one thing I can assure you is that it required a lot of stamina to win first place. However, Brody, I’m sure I’ll be coming second tonight when you’re finished showing your “appreciation” if you catch MY drift.
(Starr and Brody’s flirting is interrupted by “Formation” by Beyonce as Aria Jaxon steps out to an incredible reaction. She makes sure to take the long way around the ring and locks eyes with both Cailin Dillon and Brody Sparks before stepping into the ring.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Los Angeles California… the Queen of the New Guard… AAAAAAARRRRRRRRIA JAAAAAAAAAAXOOOOOOOOOON!!!
Cailin: Look, Brody. I don’t care about your sexual escapades but keep yourself as far away from me as possible. With the amount of men you’ve slept with you may as well be a second rate Tarah Nova and she’s already second rate. So what does that make you?
Brody: That makes me your f*cking Specialists Champion. I should have you know that your little buddy Aria here was one of the people in the match where I won this, too. Remember that? With an attitude like that I’m not surprised the two of you- or Tarah Nova for that matter- used to be such good friends. What I do outside of the ring doesn’t matter because, at the end of that Extreme Elimination Chamber, I was the only one NOT left lying on her back.
Cailin: You also lost to Azumi Goto.
SG1: Ladies, please. Let’s focus on what’s going on in the ring. We need to keep this show on the air and I’m not sure that this conversation is headed in a healthy direction.
Starr: I’m pretty healthy, Brody. At least where it counts. *wink wink*
(“Surfacing” by Slipknot plays on the P.A. System to a myriad of cheers. The positive reaction seems to have drowned out the usual boos after what occurred at Road To Redemption, however Sheridan Müller’s attention doesn’t leave Cailin Dillon as she steps into the ring.)
Ring Announcer: And her opponent, from Munich, Germany… The Personification of German Efficiency… SHEEEEEEEEEEERIDAAAAAAAN MUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLERRRRRR!!!
Cailin and Brody together: Ugh.
Cailin: Well that’s something we can agree on, at least.
SG1: Not to intentionally interrupt the two of you but Sheridan doesn’t look too happy right now. In fact, she looks pretty pissed. I don’t care what she says about the Vixens Championship or even the Women’s Championship. She’s stated before that she couldn’t care less about the titles on Empire but her actions at Road To Redemption showed otherwise. She was heartbroken after he loss to you, Cailin.
Cailin: I would be too if I were as “inefficient” as she was that night.
SG1: Look, there’s no denying what happened, but Sheridan can’t deny that that loss hit her hard. I don’t care what she thinks of the championship itself, honestly, but I hope she realises that her head was in that place it was because of the message that our Vixens Title held. It meant she was the best on Empire, better than both of you, and she lost the right to say that. German Efficiency may very well have died last week and that championship belt was the physical evidence of what she considered herself to be and that’s EAW’s greatest wrestler, female or otherwise.
Cailin: And guess what? She wasn’t and she isn’t. That right belongs to me and on–
Brody: Excuse me, b*tch? Who the hell do you think you are? Congrats, darling, you beat a champ with a grand total of zero title defenses. I beat an entire ring full of former Vixens and Specialists Champions to win this and I don’t app–
SG1: Whoa, whoa. Simmer down. We have a match about to go down. These two are still incredible threats to your titles, remember that. We’re about to see who’s going to be competing for one of those championships in the future and either one of these women could become champion again.
Brody: Yeah, two women who held the Vixens Championship this year without a single defense under their reign. I’m terrified.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
SG1: This match is on it’s way and– hold up. What’s Sheridan doing, Starr?!
Starr: She’s calling for a microphone! Oh God, no! Please no! I can’t hear her voice! That German accent is so awful! Please, Brody, cover my ears!
(Starr removes his headset and Brody places her hands against his temples, covering his ears and protecting him from Sheridan’s voice as she’s handed a live mic.)
Sheridan: Step back, Aria. I don’t have a problem with you… much, and I’d hate for you to cause one. I have something I want to say. I didn’t have much time to talk leading up to this match during my reflection on my loss at Road To Redemption. In fact, I didn’t even utter a word. So I want to talk right now. Despite what happened at Road To Redemption, I promise all of you that German Efficiency is still alive and well. Last Saturday was nothing more than a speed bump on my road to greatness and I do believe it to be quite ironic that Cailin over there would become the first ever Women’s Champion at Road To Redemption- the tenth anniversary no less -because there’s not going to be any redemption for her after I’ve had my way with her. You may have bested me that night but that doesn’t make you better than me. You were just fortunate enough to pull that winning lottery ticket and now you have a title that doesn’t even belong to you.
I’m above you, Cailin, and I’m above this entire show and it’s roster. I know I may sound ungrateful for all of my success in what is only my rookie year but I wouldn’t be making this point if I didn’t know it to be a fact. I almost defeated Ares Vendetta. I came within inches of pinning arguably EAW’s most dominant champion in it’s entire history and took his spot. I don’t deserve to be on Empire. Competing on this waste of a brand is making me complacent and I’ve grown stagnant with the lack of true competition. I’m losing to women that are leagues below my skill level and for what? Equality? No. F*ck that. I’m going to be the greatest woman the wrestling world has ever seen and I’m going to do it with the power of German Efficiency. I shouldn’t have to face the likes of Cailin Dillon or Brody Sparks and I certainly shouldn’t be in the ring with women like Aria Jaxon.
(A scornful look appears across Aria’s face but she stays silent, trying her best to restrain herself so that Sheridan can get to her point.)
Sheridan: I’d apologize, Aria, but it’s true. You’re not the issue here, though. Cailin is who I’ve got a problem with.
(Sheridan turns to Cailin who’s now stood up at the commentary table, taunting Sheridan as she goes.)
Sheridan: Keep talking, Cailin. That’s all you’re good at. Actually, I take that back. You’re not good at it. Hearing you talk makes me sick to my stomach because you actually believe that, one, you deserve that championship you’re carrying and, two, that you’re better than me. You’re deluded if you honestly buy into either of those beliefs. I’m not just saying this because I don’t like you or because you don’t like me. I’m saying this because you need a reality check and when I beat Aria I’m coming straight for your throat. Sorry, Brody, but you’re just not worth my time. Whether that Women’s Championship is in play or not, Cailin, I’m going to remind you why you’ll never match up with German Efficiency.
(Sheridan drops her microphone, allowing Brody to uncover Starr’s ears as he puts his headset back on. She continues to stare towards Cailin as she talks trash but as soon as Cailin goes to step forward Sheridan turns around.)
Starr: Thank God that’s over. Sheridan turns around to face Aria and– REVERSE STO!! ARIA NAILS HER WITH THE REVERSE STO AND SHE MAY HAVE JUST BROKEN SHERIDAN’S NOSE FROM THE GET-GO! SHERIDAN MULLER’S NOSE IS BLEEDING PROFUSELY AND IT’S COMPLETELY BENT OUT OF SHAPE! ARIA TRANSITIONS INTO A KOJI CLUTCH… AND SHE LOCKS IT IN! THE 187 IS LOCKED IN!!! SHERIDAN IS TRYING TO GET TO THE ROPES BUT SHE’S CAUGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!! SHE TAPS!! SHERIDAN TAPS OUT!!! RING THE DAMN BELL!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Formation” by Beyonce hits as Aria Jaxon gets up to her feet and has her arm raised in victory. EAW’s medical team help Sheridan out of the ring as they tend to her nose. If it wasn’t already obvious, talk of Sheridan’s nose being completely shattered is overheard and picked up by the camera crew as she’s helped to the back.)
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and new number one contender to a women’s’ championship of her choosing…. AAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAAAAAAAA JAAAAAAAAAXOOOONNN!!!
SG1: Oh wow. I’m… I’m speechless.
Starr: YES! YES! YOU’RE GOING TO BE HEARING A WHOLE LOT OF THAT LATER TONIGHT, BRODY, BUT RIGHT NOW I’M ECSTATIC! SHERIDAN GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HER AND I COULDN’T BE MORE THANKFUL! I GUESS NEITHER OF YOU WILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER AFTER ALL! At least now she can get the proper nose job so she can stop talking about her “jew nose”. SHE NEEDS TO BLEND IN PROPERLY!
Cailin: I didn’t have to worry regardless. Sheridan is no threat to MY title, even on her best day. Evidently, today was her worst.
SG1: Congratulations to Aria Jaxon but… I’m not sure what to make of this. I think Sheridan might be injured for a long, long time to come and it’s hard to say it was undeserved. What she said was straight up uncalled for, particularly what she had to say about Aria. I suppose she’s eating her words now.
Brody: I hope she’s eating through a straw after that. F*ck her and the stick up her ass.
SG1: I think I need some time to recuperate. I don’t think anyone expected this kind of result. We’ll have to just wait and see what happens on Empire. We’ll see you again on Thursday, ladies and gentlemen.
(Congratulations especially to Bust of the Year… Dark Demon!)
(The camera transitions back into the United Stander and pan over toward Pierre McGuire standing at the podium on the stage)
Pierre McGuire: We’ve had a vast amount of spectacular World Heavyweight Champions over the years. This year? We’ve had a handful of top notch talent hold the coveted World Heavyweight Championship. They’ve sacrificed nearly everything they had to become World Heavyweight Champion and tonight we’re here to honor the best of the best of that pool of talent. Here’s are the nominees for 2016’s World Heavyweight Champion of the Year…
(The camera cuts to a highlight reel of each nominee)
(The camera cuts back to Pierre McGuire opening the envelope to reveal the winner…)
Pierre McGuire: The winner is… BRIAN DANIELS!!!
(A loud whistle echoes throughout the arena.)
(“Paint It, Black” by Ramin Djawadi plays throughout the arena, as Brian Daniels enters onto the stage wearing the same all black attire from Road to Redemption, with his barbed wire baseball bat rested upon his shoulder. Daniels grabs the trophy with his free hand, as “Paint It, Black” slowly fades away.)
Crowd: BRIAN DANIELS! BRIAN DANIELS! BRIAN DANIELS!
(Brian just smiles at the camera)
Brian Daniels: These violent delights… have violent ends.
(Brian Daniels raises the barbed wire bat in the air alongside with his award, as “Paint It, Black” plays once again, Daniels takes his exit, as the camera transitions back toward the ring announcer inside the ring.)
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a 15 man Battle Royal for the number one contendership to the EAW New Breed Championship!
WWEFan: The competitors are all currently in the ring right now and they are just ready to go! This is is sure going to be a good one, Kawajai!
Kawajai: I’ll say! Fifteen hungry new breed competitors, five representatives from each brand, all vying for that number one contendership! This free for all will sure be something! I’m expecting true chaos!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
WWEFan: This battle royal is underway as barely even a moment has passed before they’ve all charged at each other in a frenzy! It’s hard to cover everything going on but we’ll try our best! Mike Showman runs up to Lars Grier with a kick to the midsection and targets the big man early on! Moongoose Mcqueen is delivering chops to Ahren Fournier while he is pressed up against the ropes! OH! Elbow to the face by Ahren! Followed up by a dropkick! Ahren then sets his sights on Solomon Caine as Moongoose is caught in the crowd of people in the middle!
Kawajai: Speaking of the crowd, I can see that Ross Vegas and Cody Marshall are duking it out in the center of the ring. Cody is taking his hands and literally mauling at the face of Ross! Ross is feeling around, trying to push him off! He manages to get some room with a jawbreaker! Cody then staggers back into a clothesline from Finnegan Wakefield, who himself is pursued by Anthony Leonhart! Hang on, as this is happening, the High Rollerz are cornering rookie Spencer Hoffman! Jack Ripley moves forward first and Spencer, sensing the danger that is coming, he makes a retreat and goes to run out of the corner! Not a good idea because David Davidson takes a step to the side and blocks Spencer’s opening! He scoops up Spencer on his shoulder and hits him with a flapjack up against the ropes!
WWEFan:Spencer flips over the top rope but lands on the apron! Spencer pulls himself up with the ropes — and is hit flush with a double superkick to the chin by Ripley and Davidson! Down goes Spencer! He’s out of the match! We can’t dwell on it for too long though! Jakob DeLion rushes at Kelly Hackenschmidt and Kelly, thinking on his feet, telegraphs it and flings Jakob over the top rope with a back body drop! Two eliminations in succession! Mike Showman is on the middle rope, looking to nail Lars with a double axe handle but Lars catches him! Spinebuster! Anthony joins Mike on the canvas thanks to an enzuigiri by Finnegan!
Kawajai: Finnegan and Lars lock eyes, jumping over their former opposition and engaging in a brawl! Mike and Anthony are starting to recover….and then they go at it too! Solomon Caine and Ahren are still going at it in the meantime! Solomon gets the better of Ahren with an Irish whip! Ahren halts himself going into the ropes by lowering into a baseball slide, using the momentum to go between the legs of Mortimer Gotch who has had a low profile! Ahren is behind Gotch now, getting him in a waist lock, lifting him up for a German suplex….sending him over the ropes and tumbling to the floor! Ahren looking proud of himself here, but he better watch out because Cody Marshall is waiting behind him, ready to deliver a decapitating big boot!
WWEFan: Jack Ripley is looking to move onto Cody Marshall with David Davidson not too far behind him to provide back up, but Moongoose rips David away! Inverted atomic drop! Then a hip toss to follow it up! Jack’s attention is diverted because of that and Cody manages to take down Ripley with a shoulder block! Cody then follows it up with a leg drop, or at least tries to, but Jack rolls out of the way! Ripley is on his fours here as Ross Vegas uses him as a launching pad to dive into the brawling Finnegan and Lars Grier, knocking them down! Ross then gets Cody with a flying forearm! Ross is feeling it here, but oh! Solomon Caine pulling from behind by the hair! Piledriver from out of nowhere, spiking Ross on the head! Solomon Caine is looking to for an elimination! He takes Ros Vegas and then he tosses him out!
Kawajai: We have four people eliminated so far and we could be looking at our fifth! Anthony Leonhart has Mike Showman hanging over his shoulder and he’s looking to dump him over the top rope. Mike is desperately hanging on….Anthony with a brutal open palm thrust to the face as Mike Showman let’s go and falls over! Mike is grasping the ropes, looking to skin the cat back in the rng but he does not have the proper strength. Mike settles for standing on the apron, looking to walk back in but Anthony, now realizing Mike isn’t out, attacks him with a lariat! Mike telegraphs it and ducks! Anthony is leaned up against the ropes and Cody Marshall picks his spot as he runs up on Anthony and turns him over! Anthony’s feet touch the floor, he is out!
WWEFan: Cody lets out a shout, singing his own praises — as there goes Ahren with a knee lift, launching Cody over! Cody getting caught with the same sneak tactics he just employed! Moongoose is really taking the fight to David still! Jack looking to help his partner! Back rake! A furious Moongoose turns to swipe at him but David gets him with a forearm shot to the back of the head! Moongoose tries to fight both but the numbers game is catching up to him! They ground him and once they get control, the High Rollerz bring Moongoose up in the air before catching him in a double knee facebuster! What a combination by the two! They scrape Moongoose up off the mat and then toss him out! Come on!
Kawajai: Lars Grier and Finnegan Wakefield must turn their attention to the High Rollerz! A temporary truce is formed as they aim at the duo with dual spears, looking to take out a big threat. Mike Showman tries to get in this, throwing in a few kicks while the High Rollerz have been taken down, but then there’s Kelly Hackenschmidt, turning him around for a snap suplex! Mike gets up, clutching at his back, only to get rocked by a European uppercut! Mike is spun around from that….and a back suplex attempt is avoided! Mike lands on his feet into a neckbreaker from Ahren Fournier! Kelly doesn’t let Ahren get up, he jumps for a double footstomp to the ribs! As he steps up off the body of Ahren, Solomon hits him with a back elbow!
WWEFan: Lars and Finnegan meanwhile are going at it with the High Rollerz! Jack wants to stun Finnegan with a superkick but Finnegan catches it and turns him so his boot catches his partner David in the temple! Jack is shocked! He runs to Finnegan but Finnegan ducks and then gets behind him with the headscissors takeover, sending Jack Ripley over the top rope! JACK RIPLEY IS OUT! While this happens, Solomon Caine turns the tables on Kelly Hackenschmidt who was about to throw him out, and gets him out in return! Kelly and Ripley are out of the running!
Kawajai: The herd is thinning more and more as David Davidson is now all alone between Lars Grier and Finnegan! Lars Grier grabs him while he is still slouched over and places him between his knees, bringing him up into the air in powerbomb position! David Davidson is being held up in the air! Lars backs away for momentum….AND MAKES A MAD DASH ACROSS THE RING, TOSSING DAVID DAVIDSON OUT OF THE RING AND TO THE BOTTOM OF THE RAMP, LANDING ON KELLY AND JACK RIPLEY, WHO LUCKILY BREAK HIS FALL. Lars and Finnegan are two rookies who are having a great showing here, but Ahren wants to kill that excitement with a shot to the back of Lars! Mike Showman looks to do the same with a shot to Finnegan! Lars turns around and grabs Ahren by the throat before lifting him up! Gorilla press slam, causing Ahren to land on the apron and then fall out to the floor!
WWEFan: As this happens, Showman and Finnegan are teeing off on each other! Showman with heavy boxing jabs, Finnegan with leg kicks and kicks to the side! Spinning heel kick to Showman! Kick to the face! Showman is dazed but shakes the cobwebs! Cutter attempted! Finnegan pushes him down and grabs the feet! Has him in wheelbarrow position, deadlifting him up….and sling shotting him over the ropes! Showman goes tumbling to the outside! We are now down to three!
Kawajai: We are so close to having ourselves a number one contender! Solomon Caine sees the end in sight and so he is wasting no time in attacking Finnegan Wakefield! He cocks back his fist and LEVELS him with a right hand! Finnegan Wakefield falls back into the middle rope and grabs on to it to bring himself back up to his feet! Solomon is stomping on him though, not letting him gather his senses! Finnegan pushes him away! Roundhouse to the side of the skull! Solomon stumbles….AND THEN COMES RUNNING BACK! CACTUS CLOTHESLINE OVER THE ROPES, IS HE CRAZY!? Both men somehow survive the altercation as they are now fighting it out just one misstep away from falling off! Solomon gets hit with a second roundhouse! He falls over into Finnegan’s arms! Finnegan has him up in a fireman’s carry…..AND HE DROPS SOLOMON BACK FIRST ONTO THE STEEL STEPS!
WWEFan: Solomon rolls off those steps in a heap! Both feet have touched the floor, he’s out! Finnegan now, looking to springboard back into the ring…BUT LARS WAS WAITING FOR HIM FROM AFAR! He has Finnegan in his clutches….AND DEMOLITION DROPS HIM OVER THE ROPE! FINNEGAN WAKEFIELD IS OUT AS LARS GRIER HAS DONE IT!
(“Right Between The Eyes” by Crobot plays as Lars Grier’s hand is raised in victory.)
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match and number one contender to the EAW New Breed Championship……LAAAAAAARRRRSSS GRIEEEEEERRRRR!!!
WWEFan: Lars Grier, a new kid on the block, comes in and just like that secures himself a spot as our New Breed title number one contender in impressive fashion! Big ups to him here with the amount of competition stacked against him!
Kawajai: I’d say luck was shining down on him tonight but there was definitely no luck involved there! Lars kicked it into high gear towards the end and him being able to think on his feet with that Demolition Drop to Finnegan pulled it all together for him! Congratulations Lars, talk about something to look forward to heading into 2017!
(Congratulations to the EAW Champion of the Year… Aren Mstislav!)
(The camera transitions back into the United Stander and pan over toward Pierre McGuire standing at the podium on the stage with a goofy looking smile)
Pierre McGuire: I’ve only met a few people that have left this company and immediately regretted doing so. Whether it was forced by injury or out of sheer stupidity. We’ve had ourselves some grand returns over the span of 2016! Who’s mattered most?! Here are the nominees for 2016’s Return of the Year…
(The camera cuts to a highlight reel of each nominee)
Heart Break Boy
(The camera cuts back to Pierre McGuire opening the envelope to reveal the winner…)
Pierre McGuire: The winner is… DEVAN DUBIAN!!!
(“This Means War” by Avenged Sevenfold blares throughout the arena, as the fans erupt in loud cheers, Devan Dubian enters the United Center through the curtains in a black and white suit, with the EAW Hall of Fame Championship draped over his shoulder, he accepts his award from Pierre McGuire, “This Means War” fades as Devan Dubian steps up to the podium…)
Devan Dubian: Wow, I can’t say I’m stunned by this. Can you expect anything less out of The Amazing Emir? I’ve been busting my ass since my return and I’ve shown no signs of stopping now. This Hall of Fame Championship was only the beginning to a fruitful new beginning. I have bigger plans thought of ahead of time. For example, why not become the first Elitist to hold both the Hall of Fame and Answers World Championship? I’ll headline Pain for Pride three years in a row. I’ll continue to show the world why my success is AMAZING bar none. Who’s there to decline me that right? Not the fantasy induced headcase, Lannister. Not the crippled, Ares Vendetta. Not the thief, Tiberius Jones. I will rise to the top again and it’s just a matter of time. But until that time comes, I’ll give my thanks for honoring the best return this company will ever get.
(“This Means War” picks back up, as Devan Dubian raises his award up into the air, he smiles and takes his leave off stage, as the camera pans back around to the ring announcer standing inside of the ring…)
(Congratulations to the EAW Vixens Champion of the Year… Eris LeCava!)
(The camera transitions back where an excited Pierre McGuire stands at the podium on the stage)
Pierre: I must say, everyone, getting to host these Awards is a Christmas present come true in of itself for me! We’ve finally made it to the big one! The last of the bunch! All year, every Elitist puts everything they’ve got into being the absolute BEST! They work hard to achieve accolades, achieve victory, and everything else that comes with it! So many prove how worthy they are, but only ONE can be named “Elitist of the Year”. Here are the nominees:
(The camera transitions to highlight heels of each nominee)
The Pizza Boy
(The camera cuts back to Pierre struggling to open the envelope containing the winner’s name. After several moments, he opens it and looks in as his happy face slowly turns into a frown)
Pierre: The, uh…. Elitist of the Year for 2016…. Ares Vendetta.
(The crowd erupts with a loud symphony of boos for a few minutes before Ares Vendetta finally makes his way out to the stage in a black suit and his right arm in a cast and sling)
Pierre: Ares is also accepting his other Awards won tonight: Match of the Year, Answers World Champion of the Year, and Promoer of the Year!!
(Ares steps up to the podium as an uncomfortable Pierre backs away. Ares looks down at his four Awards while the crowd boos)
Cherish: It’s certainly a huge night for this man regardless of what happened at Road To Redemption. He just won Match of the Year, Answers World Champion of the Year, Promoer of the Year, AND Elitist of the Year, but you certainly wouldn’t know it by looking at him… I suppose I can’t blame him.
(Ares slowly grabs the Elitist of the Year Award, clutching it in his hand as the crowd begins to tauntingly whistle)
(Ares looks around at the taunting United Center with a stoic expression, still clutching the Elitist of the Year Award in his left hand)
Cherish: Maybe a bit of a reality check for Ares. He won four huge Awards tonight, including Elitist of the Year, but I got a feeling he doesn’t feel like a winner at all.
(Ares begins to speak, but stops himself as the crowd’s booing and taunting grows louder)
Cherish: These Chicago fans aren’t gonna let this guy even get a word in…
(Ares’ stoic look slowly shifts into one of loathing as he backs away from the podium. After several more seconds, Ares walks to the back with the Elitist of the Year Award still in his hand, leaving the other Awards behind)
Cherish: I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen this guy speechless! It’s a Christmas miracle!
(Pierre steps back up to the podium)
Pierre: Well, don’t worry, we’ll be sure to mail the rest of these to him. Nonetheless, thank you for joining me here tonight for our annual EAW Awards! It’s been an honor to be able to help present these great athletes with a token of our gratitude for all they’ve done throughout the year. I just want to–
(Ares bursts out from the back, nailing Pierre in the back with the Elitist of the Year Award, sending him crashing into the podium and the other Awards toppling to the ground with it as the crowd erupts with boos)
Cherish: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?! SOMEONE GET THIS GUY OUT OF HERE! ARES JUST ATTACKED PIERRE FROM BEHIND!
(Ares looks around at the booing crowd before looking down at his other Awards on the ground. Ares kicks the Match of the Year, Promoer of the Year, and Answers World Champion of the Year Awards out of the way before grabbing a hold of a hurt Pierre McGuire)
Cherish: SOMEBODY STOP THIS GUY! ARES STILL HAS THAT ELITIST OF THE YEAR AWARD AS HE BRINGS PIERRE DOWN TO THE RING! HE SENDS HIM AND THE AWARD ROLLING INTO THE RING! ARES HAS LOST IT! IF HE EVER HAD IT!
(Ares goes around the ring and swipes a microphone before rolling into the ring and getting to his feet, looking at the still hurt Pierre McGuire and his Elitist of the Year Award. HRDO and several members of security rush out to the stage)
Ares: I truly… Truly don’t feel like dealing with you anymore, mongrel, so I’m gonna make this clear: If you and your men take one more step, I’m gonna beat this idiot’s skull in with your precious Elitist of the Year Award. Understood?
(A disgusted HRDO tells security to get back as they look on. Ares picks up the Elitist of the Year Award and looks at it as he paces around the ring)
Ares: Elitist of the Year… That’s cute. Is this what the mongrels here risk their lives in a ring every year to win? Is this all their efforts amount to when it comes down to it? A trophy? A trophy given to them by what, popular vote? Pathetic. This company is pathetic. Every single man and woman alike who inhabits it that dedicates themselves to winning an Award is pathetic. You people that support this farce – you are pathetic. Oh yes, I’m YOUR Elitist of the Year. YOUR Match of the Year Winner. YOUR Answers World Champion of the Year. YOUR Promoer of the Year…
(Ares laughs as he looks at the Elitist of the Year Award)
Ares: I must say, I at least get amusement out of knowing that several of your best men fought tooth and nail to get this Award that means so much to them, and still couldn’t beat me. That gives me a little bit of joy, I admit, but–
HRDO: If you want your rematch for the Answers World–
(A visibly upset Ares stops in his tracks and slams a boot down upon the hand of Pierre McGuire)
Ares: Don’t interrupt me, mongrel. I don’t think you understood anything that I just said. I don’t want your useless gold. I don’t want a measly Award. I don’t want your stained Answers World Championship, nor do I want any other pitiful World Title. I don’t want any Championship this company has to offer. I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. If I ever feel like taking anything like that, I’ll do so, but that’s far from what I want. See, I could have just gone to you and asked for what I want face to face, but it’s never been that simple, has it? It was never about asking to get what I want. I was never like the rest of these mongrels. I came here to this company two years ago to TAKE. I will always TAKE. There’s not a soul on Earth, a Devil in Hell, or a God in Heaven that can stop me from getting what I want. I didn’t come here ASKING for gold, mongrel, I came here DEMANDING Brian Daniels.
(HRDO looks at his team of security before looking back at Ares)
HRDO: Not only are you injured, Ares, but I have no idea where Brian is. If–
(Ares places the heel of his boot against the index finger on Pierre’s left hand)
Ares: I’ll give you 10 opportunities to give me Brian Daniels, mongrel.
(HRDO grows visibly annoyed)
HRDO: I told you, I don’t know–
Cherish: ARES — HE JUST DROVE HIS BOOT DOWN ONTO THE INDEX FINGER OF PIERRE MCGUIRE!!! I THINK HE JUST BROKE HIS FINGER! JESUS CHRIST!
Ares: 9 more opportunities. Go ahead and fire me, if that makes you feel any better, if you even can when you’re powerless against even a General Manager. You can’t get rid of me, and you know it. Even if Murrow weren’t a problem, these people need someone like me. This company needs someone like me. They WANT a villain, and in their eyes, that’s exactly what I am. Maybe that’s why you truly haven’t ever taken action. Maybe I’m too good for business. I know at least one man who would hate to see me go, because without Ares Vendetta, there is NO Robbie V! You can’t do anything to me! All you can do is stand there like an idiot and get me what I want, because I’m not making a request! I want Brian Daniels or I will snap every single finger this fool has before I paint a picture on this canvas with his blood using your own Elitist of the Year Award! Give me Brian Daniels!
(Whistling is heard all throughout the United Center as Ares looks around while the crowd erupts with cheers)
Cherish: He’s back! It looks like Brian Daniels is still here!
(Brian Daniels is shown standing amidst the crowd with a smile on his face and his barbed wire baseball bat resting upon his shoulder as Ares looks on)
Ares: It feels good, doesn’t it? Indulging in revenge. I bet you feel so very empowered by everything you accomplished at Road To Redemption, and yet, I’m still here. Were you still too merciful to truly get rid of me, mongrel? Or did you intend for this to happen? Nonetheless, here we are. You and I both want something, and I think it’s become very clear we’ll stop at nothing to get it. HRDO, I don’t just want Brian Daniels… I want a match. In fact, I want a match at a very show that holds great sentimental value for my own dear father, King of Elite. Years of dealing with you mongrels didn’t stop me, so what makes you think a broken arm will? I want you at King of Elite…
(Ares leans on the ropes with a twisted smile on his face)
Ares: Trial By Combat.
(The crowd begins to stir)
Ares: Anything goes. The only way the match ends is when the man in your corner gives up for you, and I’ve gone through great links to choose who will be backing the both of us, mongrel. You want to get my father back more than anything, right? You want Robbie V? You want your final match? Well, who am I to keep two friends from reuniting? Because the man who will hold your fate in his hands in that very match is that catatonic worthless man! Robbie V! As for me… Well, I’m afraid you’re mistaken if you think it’ll be Rook or Bishop in my corner. I wanted to make this special, not just for you and I, but for my dear father as well. I want someone in my corner that represents EVERYTHING that led to this! A man that set these chain of events in motion years ago… All by slitting my father’s throat just to win a match.
(Ares’ sadistic smile grows wider)
Ares: The man in my corner… Jaywalker.
(Ares walks back to a still hurt Pierre McGuire, looking at the Award lying next to him)
Ares: Like it or not, Brian, you’re the man you are now because of me. You’re absolutely no different from the rest of the mongrels that wanted their revenge for what I did to them. They all fell, Brian, each and every one of them. They wanted vengeance, but they’re still the same pathetic fools they always were, no matter how bloodthirsty they were. You’re no different. That’s what I’m going to prove at King of Elite! You’re no different! I’ll show you what kind of tool pure hate can be in the hands of someone who knows how to use it! Bring your little bat! Bring your new look! Bring my father! This ends when I say it ends, mongrel! You want revenge so badly, but you don’t know the first thing about it! If you want true revenge, dig two graves! On wrongs swift vengeance waits!
(Ares throws the microphone down and stomps upon the Elitist of the Year Award before kicking out out of the ring)
Cherish: A powerful message has been sent from Ares Vendetta to Brian Daniels and the gauntlet has been thrown down! It looks like we’re getting it! Ares Vendetta with Jaywalker in his corner against Brian Daniels with Robbie V in his corner! Trial By Combat at King of Elite! Brian Daniels doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest… If anything, he looks happy! I can’t even begin to imagine what will happen when these two collide…
(Ares Vendetta and Brian Daniels stare down as the camera slowly fades to commercial)
(FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(The camera pans back to the arena before focusing on the ring announcer)
Ring Announcer: The following contest….IS THE CHAMPIONS OF CHAMPIONS MATCH!
(“The Punisher” by Fire and Blood plays as Jacob Senn steps out to a roar of jeers from the crowd. With the world heavyweight championships around his waist, he makes his way towards the ring, gloating about being the face that runs Dynasty and will become the face that runs EAW)
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Chicago Illonois! Weighing in at 218 pounds! HE IS THE EAW WORLD. HEAVYWEIGHT. CHAMPION!!! “THE PUNISHER”! JACCCCOOOOOBBBBBBBB SEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Through hell and high water, Jacob Senn emerged from the Elimination Chamber a LEGEND! This man endured incredible punishment from Scott Oasis, endured so much torture inside that match that it’s incredible he’s here tonight ready to compete! It only adds to his grand legacy here in EAW!
“TONIGHT I FEEL IMMORTAL…”
(“Immortal” by Kid Cudi hits as Y2Impact steps out onto the stage with a cocky grin across his face as he soaks in the disapproval from the fans. He repeats “Seven Reigns” to the fans, pointing at the EAW Championship around his waist along the ramp while ignoring their response, the grin growing wider and wider)
Ring Announcer: Next, from Seattle Washington! Weighing in at 226 pounds! HE IS THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING CHAMPION!!! “THE MACHINE” Y!!!! 2!!!! IIIIIIIMMMMMMMMPPPAAAACCCCTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
Kawajai: NOW THIS MAN MERCER, THIS MAN MERCER DIDN’T SURVIVE. He CONQUERED his opponents. Nathan Fiora and Eclipse Diemos FELL to The Machine. Nasir Capitani had the life ripped from his body. Does that sound like “surviving”? NO! THAT’S CONQUERING YOUR OPPONENTS. You want to talk about legacies? Look no further than arguably the greatest legacy there is in Y2Impact!
(“The Eagle Has Landed” by Avatar plays and Lannister steps forth onto the stage to a mixed reaction wearing a red and gold jacket. He stands at the top of the stage, with a smirk across across his face below slowly pulling the zipper down to reveal the Answers World Championship around his waist. He unstraps the belt and raises it into the air. Lannister drops the title over his shoulder and makes his way down to the ring)
Ring Announcer: Introducing last, from Dortmund, Germany! Weighing in at 252 pounds! HE IS THE ANSWERS! WORLD! CHAAAAAMMMMMPPPPIIIIIOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!! “DARTH” LLLLLAAAAANNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Cherish: What can only be described as one of the greatest nights any competitor in EAW has had in recent times, Lannister conquered the Tiberius Jones and Lioncross to win Cash In The Vault. He and the Heart Break Gal might have fallen short to Matt Squared but Lannister ruined what was an incredible moment, a true cinderella story; The Pizza Boy ending the historic reign of Ares Vendetta only to have it stripped away when Lannister cashed in. A fairytale ending taken away bu–
Jake Mercer: But nothing. Lannister didn’t waste his opportunity, he saw the moment and siezed it. Carpe freakin Diem Cherish.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Cherish: The champions of champions match is underway! All three champions backed into their respective corners, their eyes shifting back and forth between one another. And immediately Impact and Senn target Lannister! The bigger man in this match, Lannister steps out of the corner to meet both men in the middle of the ring but both Impact and Senn drive fists into the midsection, forcing Lannister back into the corner! Impact with stomps to the stomach as Lannister slumps onto the second turnbuckle and Senn fires away with clubbing forearm shots to the back. Lannister just being ripped apart by a pair of wolves, barely able to defend himself. Hang on! Senn pulls Impact away and raises Lannister’s head up, exposing the chest! Knife edge chop! The back hand slap across the chest echoes throughout the arena and again, Lannister slumps back into the corner.
Kawajai: Now Impact drags Senn out of the corner by the tights and throws him to the canvas! Impact stepping towards Lannister, raising the head and delivering a stiff right hand fist to the jaw! Rocking Lannister before following it up with a second and third shot! Impact switches to rapid fits to the top of Lannister’s skull. But Senn drags Impact away for the corner and shoves him aside. Impact retaliates with a shot to the back of the head and now both men are going toe to toe! Y2Impact and Jacob Senn trading left and right shots, trying to gain the upperhand in the early goings of this match. Impact blocks Senn and fires away with a knee to the stomach and immediately connects with a knife edge chop; sucking the wind right out of Jacob Senn. Senn stumbles backwards, gasping for air as he leans up against the ropes, Impact quickly moves in and whips Senn across the ring and follows it up with a low dropkick to both knees of Dynasty’s world heavyweight champion! But Senn rolls out of the ring before Impact can make a pinfall. …Oh no…
Jake Mercer: Lannister blasts Impact in the back of the head with a forearm shot! He rolls Impact across onto his back, drops to a knee and begins driving his right fist into the skull of Impact! Repeated shots, dragging Impact back up by the hair before l; Lannister simply mauling Y2Impact right now. Lannister drags Impact back to his feet and drives him into the corner, whips him across to the opposite corner and charges towards him, connecting with an uppercut! Impact stumbles out of the corner but Lannister wraps his arms around his waist — BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Lannister simply tossing Impact up and over his head, connecting with the suplex!
Cherish: LOOK OUT. JACOB SENN CONNECTS WITH A KNEE STRIKE! LAUNCHING HIMSELF OFF THE TOP ROPE, CONNECTING WITH THE KNEE! Lannister falls to the canvas and Senn quickly scrambles to make the cover.
Kawajai: No! Lannister powers out at barely a two count. Impact barely stirring on the canvas, Senn sits back up with a grin across his face knowing he’s in full control of the contest at this point. Senn rises back to his feet and begins to stomp away at both Lannister and Impact! Senn turns his attention to Y2Impact and drags him back to his feet but Impact drives the point of his elbow back into the ribs of Senn. Senn shakes it off and returns fire with a swift kick to the rib cage of Impact! Both men starting to feel the effects of the quick pace the opening few minutes has presented. Lannister rising back to his feet AND Y2IMPACT TURNS AND CONNECTS WITH THE DROPKICK! LANNISTER TUMBLES UNDER THE MIDDLE ROPE AND COLLAPSES ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING. Impact turning his attention back to Jacob Senn and both men being to slowly pace around the ring, cautiously watching one another, waiting for the others to step forward. All three men fighting for bragging rights, to claim their championship is the greater prize, that they sit alone at the top of the mountain. Senn and Impact both move into the middle of the ring and lock up! Both men vying for control but neither can overpower the other and they both release, taking a step back.
Cherish: Once again, both men circle the ring and come to the center. Jacob Senn offers a test of strength by raises his right hand in the air. Y2Impact hesitantly raises his left but Senn drops it and raises his left hand. Impact likewise drops his left hand and raises his right. Once again Senn drops his hand and begins to raise the other but he’s cut off with a wicked slap by Impact! Senn turns back to Impact furious and swings for the fences but Impact ducks and delivers a kick to the ribs. Impact charges towards the ropes, bounces back and Senn again swings for lariat but Impact ducks under it. He rebounds off the opposite side of the ring, Senn turns and Impact connects with a dropkick! Senn immediately rolls out of the ring and slams both hands on the ring apron out of frustration before clutching his chest. Irritated, he turns his attention to Lannister who is rising back to his feet. Senn grabs Lannister by the back of the head AND TOSSES HIM INTO THE STEEL STEPS! LANNISTER’S BACK COLLIDES WITH THE STEEL AND ONCE AGAIN HE’S KEPT GROUNDED.
Mercer: The great Jacob Senn not allowing Lannister to truly enter this match. Smart, brilliant move by Senn focusing on keeping the man he believes is the greater threat out of the match and I’m sure, Kawajai, your champion wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Kawajai: Not at all. Senn charges back into the ring and is immediately met with a knee to the ribs by Impact. Y2Impact giving Senn no room to breath; he drags Senn to the middle of the ring and locks him in for the Tiger Suplex! No! Senn fights out of it with a kick right to the knee of Impact. Repeated kicks trying to break free and he does! Impact releases his grip and Senn fires away with two punches, a shoot kick back to the knee and swings with the backhand fist for the Second City Combination! But Y2Impact ducks, floats around to the back and locks the arms in! TIGER SUPLEX! Impact connects and holds the bridge for the pin!
OONNNEEEE!!!!!!!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!! TTTTTTHHHHRRRREEEEEEEE–
Mercer: SENN POWERS OUT! Impact drops the bridge and Senn rolls away from the scene. The wise veteran showing calm and patience, rising back to his feet and stalking his prey as Senn, relying on the ropes, pulls himself to a vertical base stumbles backwards. Impact drives the forearm into the back of Senn who immediately returns with an elbow to the jaw! PELE! IT CONNECTS! Senn with the Pele to the back of Impact’s head but he remains standing. Senn slowly again climbing back to his feet before collapsing into the ropes and Impact, shaking the cobwebs from his head, finding balance. IMPACT CHARGES AND LEAPS ONTO THE SECOND ROPE! SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! NO! Senn moves out of the way and Impact crashes to the canvas. Both men scramble back to their feet but Senn is up first! Senn charges towards Impact but Impact drops to the canvas. Senn steps over and Impact bounces back to his feet. Senn bounces off the ropes, Impact does likewise. Impact swings for the lariat but Senn duc–
Cherish: FEUER FREI!!!! LANNISTER SLIDES INTO THE RING, LIFTS Y2IMPACT INTO THE AIR AND CONNECTS WITH THE UPPERCUT! Impact quickly rolls out of the ring and Jacob Senn quickly acts and delivers several kicks to the hamstrings of Lannister, trying to bring the big man down and he does! Lannister falls to a knee and Senn charges towards the ropes and returns back BUT LANNISTER CUTS HIM OFF WITH A RUNNING KNEE SMASH! SENN FLIPS OVER THE KNEE AS IT’S DRIVEN INTO HIS BEATEN RIBS. Senn desperately scrambles back to his feet but Lannister clutches the edge of his tights. Lannister pulls Senn in and wraps his arms around his waist and connects with the German Suplex!! Again, Senn desperately scrambles to his feet but this time far more disorientated. He stumbles around but he turns back into the grasps of Lannister! BELLY TO BELLY! Lannister simply rag dolling Senn around in the ring and this time he slides into the cover!
Kawajai: Y2Impact slides back in and breaks up the pin! Impact using Lannister to push himself back to his feet and then pulls Lannister by the head. Impact delivers a stiff forearm shot to the jaw and follows it up with a kick to the ribs! Lannister steps back momentarily but Impact drags him back to connect with an uppercut! Impact remaining on the attack and drags Lannister towards the ropes but Lannister pushes free and drives the knee into the midsection. Impact releases his grip and tries to fire back but Lannister blocks and again drives the knee into the mid section. Impact falls to a knee and doesn’t have time to breath as Lannister swoops in and hauls Impact up and over his head, connecting with the gutwrench suplex! The sheer might of Lannister tossing Y2Impact around the ring just like he did with with Jacob Senn! Impact stumbles back to his feet however he’s met immediately by Lannister who charges and drives the shoulder into the midsection, driving Impact into the corner. Repeatedly driving the shoulder into the stomach, Lannister trying to devoid Impact of any oxygen; forcing it out of his lungs with every dri–
Jake Mercer: JACOB SENN CONNECTS WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE OF IMPACT! ONCE AGAIN BRILLIANCE BY OUR GREAT CHAMPION, STEPPING OFF THE BACK OF LANNISTER AND DRIVING THE KNEE INTO JAW OF IMPACT.
Cherish: Calm down.
Jake Mercer: Jacob Senn proving, without a doubt, he’s the smartest man in this contest. Impact collapses to the canvas and drops out of the ring, Senn pulls Lannister away from the corner and drivers a forearm to the jaw. He connects with a clenched fist shot followed by a second. A kick to the calf and a swinging backhand! This time the Second City Combination connects! Lannister slumps back into the corner and Senn wastes little time driving the foot into the ribcage of Lannister! Repeated stomps aiming to batter Showdown’s champion. Senn backs away to the opposite corner of the ring as Lannister pulls himself back to his feet using the top rope; Senn charges back and is successful with the hesitation dropkick! Lannister drops back to the canvas and Senn pulls him away from the corner for the pin attempt!
Cherish: Lannister gets the shoulder up off the canvas. Jacob Senn falls back and rests on his haunches, considering his next move. He rises back to his feet as Impact climbs onto the ring apron! SENN CHARGES TOWARDS THE ROPES AND CONNECTS WITH A LOW DROPKICK! IMPACT’S FACE BOUNCING OFF THE RING APRON AS IT COMES INTO CONTACT! But Lannister is back to his feet and Senn is unaware! Senn turns and Lannister drives the point of his elbow into the side of Senn’s skull. Lannister pulls Senn in and lifts him up onto his shoulders! Death Valley Driver? Lannister lifts Senn up into the military press AND DROPS HIM RIGHT ACROSS THE KNEE. The ribs of Jacob Senn being torn apart but Lannister is RELENTLESS. He drags Senn back to his feet and connects immediately with another German suplex! But Senn slides out of the ring before Lannister can make a pinfall!
Kawajai: He’s running, Jake. Desperate to catch a breath or two but Lannister is in hot pursuit. Lannister closing in but Senn with the wherewithal to deliver a swift kick to the stomach of Lannister. Senn trying to get some space between him and Lannister BUT Y2IMPACT COMES FLYING BEFORE US AND CONNECTS WITH A FOREARM SMASH! SENN DROPS TO THE FLOOR LIKE A SACK OF BRICKS AS IMPACT ROLLS BEFORE THE FEET OF LANNISTER. BUT LANNISTER DOESN’T CARE; HE STEPS OVER IMPACT AND MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS SENN! Jacob Senn trying to quickly pull himself back to his feet using our announce table. Senn turns around but only into the clutches of Lannister who scoops him up and slams him back first into the floor! Senn’s back arches on contact as Impact uses the stairs to pull himself to his feet. But again, Lannister doesn’t seem to care as he rips the shield away from our announce table and starts tearing the monitors out of their sockets, swiping lights and papers off the desk! Senn slowly getting back to his feet but he’s helped by Lannister who pulls him in and lifts him onto his shoulders! LANNISTER LOOKING TO POWERBOMB SENN INTO OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE!
Jake Mercer: NO!
Cherish: BUT SENN PUSHES HIMSELF UP AND SPINS INTO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR POSITION! HE’S LOOKING TO SPIKE LANNISTER’S SKULL ON THE FLOOR BELOW WITH THE FRANKENSTEIN! BUT LANNISTER IS REFUSING TO GO; LANNISTER HOLDING SENN FIRMLY ON HIS SHOULDERS. WHAT ON EARTH IS HE DOING? Y2IMPACT CLIMBS ONTO THE STEPS AND QUICKLY CLIMBS TO THE SECOND ROPE!!
Jake Mercer: DAMN IT NO!
Kawajai: And Lannister takes notice! LANNISTER TAKING SENN CLOSER AND CLOSER TO IMPACT. IMPACT LEAPS! DOOMSDAY DEVICE???
Cherish: DOOMSDAY DEVICE!!! Y2IMPACT DRIVING SENN OFF THE SHOULDERS OF LANNISTER AND SENN COMES CRASHING DOWN STOMACH FIRST ON THE BARRICADE AND TUMBLES INTO THE TIMEKEEPER’S AREA. BOTH MEN WORKING TOGETHER AND SURELY THAT’S IT FOR JACOB SENN. Your thought’s Jake?
Jake Mercer: …
Kawajai: But Impact is quickly back on the attack with repeated kicks to the hamstring. Lannister drops to a knee and Impact begins to fire off with stiff right punches to the temple. Unforgiving shots one after another. But Lannister manages to shove Impact off and connect immediately with another elbow to the jaw. Impact stumbles back and Lannister turns to charge but Impact connects with a drop toe hold sending Lannister crashing into the steel steps! Lannister’s skull bouncing off the steel as Impact slowly makes his way over to the newly crowned Answers World Champion. Y2Impact drags Lannister to his feet and tosses him inside the ring; immediately sliding in and into the cover!
Jake Mercer: Lannister kicks out at two! Impact immediately transitions into a side headlock; looking to slow the pace and wear Lannister down. Lannister trying to fight back to a vertical base but Impact cinches the hold in more. Once again Lannister fights back to a vertical base with more power but Impact switches from a side headlock to a rear naked choke! Trying to starve Lannister of oxygen but Lannister quickly realises the situation and makes another push, this time successfully getting back to his feet and forces Impact against the ropes but the impact of the submission is starting to take it’s toll as Lannister slumps to a knee. Impact releases the hold and charges towards the opposite side of the ring; he rebounds off the ropes but Lannister catches him with an armdrag! Both men race back to their feet and Impact again hits the ropes! Lannister looking for a second armdrag but Impact stops at the last second! Lannister crashes to the canvas emptied handed and quickly tries to climb back to his feet BUT IMPACT CONNECTS WITH A CLOSE QUARTERS LOW DROPKICK! BOTH BOOTS BEING DRIVEN INTO THE SIDE OF LANNISTER’S SKULL! Impact rolls him over and climbs into the pin, hooking both legs!
OONNNEEEE!!!!!!!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!! TTTTTTHHHHRRRREEEEEEEE–
Cherish: Lannister powers out! Both men exhausted yet Impact knows he can’t let it slip. He slowly rises to his feet and pulls Lannister with him. He drags him towards the ropes and throws Lannister over the middle rope before dragging him back into the ring until only his feet rest on the rope! SPIKE DDT! Impact spiking Lannister on the skull with assistance from the ropes. Impact going for yet another pin but Lannister desperately tries to scramble back to his feet. Impact moving in to keep control of the contest but Lannister throws a WILD simple uppercut that rocks Impact! Impact stumbling away moves back in– LANNISTER SCOOPS IMPACT INTO THE FIREMAN’S CARRY BUT FLIPS HIM OUT OF THE RING INSTEAD! LANNISTER SENDING IMPACT CRASHING ONTO THE RING APRON AND ONTO THE FLOOR BELOW. LANNISTER BACK ON HIS HAUNCHES, USING THE ROPES TO HOLD HIMSELF UP BUT HE’S KILLED THE MOMENTUM OF Y2IMPACT!
Kawajai: No count outs; our champion has all the time in the world to recover but he might want to act quickly! Lannister already back to his feet and makes his way towards the turnbuckle! Rarely do we see Lannister go to such heights; Impact pulling himself up by the ring skirt as Lannister stands on the second rope. Jacob Senn is just beginning to stir beside us and Lannister takes his eyes off Impact. AND IT COSTS HIM. IMPACT CLIMBS BACK ONTO THE EDGE OF THE RING AND PULLS ON THE TOP ROPE! LANNISTER COMES CRASHING DOWN HARD ON THE EXPOSED STEEL BUCKLE. IMPACT CLIMBS BACK INTO THE RING, UNBALANCED AND EXHAUSTED, FEELING THE EFFECTS OF BEING DUMPED TO THE OUTSIDE BUT CLIMBS TOWARDS THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE AND PROCEEDS TO THE TOP! SHARPSHOT. FLIP. SIDE! THE TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER CONNECTS AND ONCE AGAIN LANNISTER IS SPIKED ON HIS HEAD, FROM GREATER HEIGHTS. GOOD LORD.
Jake Mercer: But Impact can’t capitalise! Impact trying to drag himself to towards Lannister but STILL Lannister can’t be kept down. Lannister pushing himself off the canvas but falls back down; crawling towards the opposite corner of the ring. Impact back to a knee but Lannister is struggling to pull himself back to his feet. He’s nothing more than injured prey for Impact right now! Lannister finally gets back to his feet and turns! THE EVISCERATION! IMPACT FLOORS LANNISTER WITH THE CODEBREAKER. HE HOOKS BOTH LEGS AND FLIPS OVER INTO A BRIDGE PIN!
OONNNEEEE!!!!!!!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!! TTTTTTHHHHRRRREEEEEEEE–
Cherish: LANNISTER POWERS OUT BUT Y2IMPACT IMMEDIATELY ROLLS OUT OF THE BRIDGE, WITH BOTH LEGS STILL HOOKED. TRYING TO ROLL LANNISTER ONTO HIS STOMACH! LOOKING FOR THE WALLS OF IMPA–
KawajaI: YES! YES!! Y2IMPACT LOCKS IN THE WALLS OF IMPACT, DEAD CENTER OF THE RING! LANNISTER HAS NOWHERE TO GO! COME ON Y2IMPACT! LANNISTER SCRATCHING AND CLAWING AT THE CANVAS, RIPPING THE FIBRES OUT OF THE MAT TO DRAG HIMSELF OUT OF THE HOLD. INCH BY INCH, IMPACT TRYING TO CINCH THE HOLD IN TIGHTER BUT LANNISTER CONTINUES TO PULL HIMSELF TOWARDS THE BOTTOM ROPE! AND HE GETS THERE BUT ROPE BREAKS DON’T EXIST. THE REFEREE CAN ONLY WATCH. LANNISTER BEGINS TO FADE MORE AND MORE AND IMPACT SIMPLY DRAGS HIM AWAY FROM THE ROPES, INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING ONCE MORE!!
Jake Mercer: JACOB SENN IS BACK IN THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR; Y2IMPACT DOESN’T REALISE IT! AND SENN CRACKS THE CHAIR ACROSS THE SPINE OF IMPACT! HE IMMEDIATELY RELEASES THE HOLD AS HIS BACK ARCHES FROM THE CONTACT! SENN IMMEDIATELY DRIVES THE TOP OF THE CHAIR INTO THE STOMACH, THE RIB CAGE OF IMPACT. REPEATEDLY AND IMPACT IS FORCED TO ROLL ONTO HIS BACK. BUT SENN SHOWS NO REMORSE; FIRING AWAY WITH MORE SHOTS TO THE BACK. Lannister slowly rising back to his feet AND SENN CRACKS THE CHAIR ACROSS HIS SPINE. GOOD LORD, JACOB SENN HAS BEEN UNLEASHED WITH THE CHAIR IN HAND. SENN SWITCHES BACK AND FORTH DRIVING THE CHAIR INTO THE BACKS OF HIS OPPONENTS; CLEARLY BENT WITH EACH PAINFUL CRACK THAT ECHOES ON CONTACT. WHAT A GRAND RETURN INTO THE MATCH. ONE LAST SHOT ACROSS THE BACK OF IMPACT; IMPACT ROLLS OVER IN PAIN AND SENN FALLS INTO THE COVER.
OONNNEEEE!!!!!!!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!! TTTTTTHHHHRRRREEEEEEEE–
Cherish: NO! LANNISTER BREAKS UP THE PIN AND IMMEDIATELY SENN RISES TO HIS FEET AND STARTS STOMPING AWAY AT LANNISTER. HE TURNS HIS ATTENTION BACK TO THE CHAIR AND DRIVES IT ACROSS LANNISTER’S BACK. SHOT AFTER SHOT AND THE SEAT COMES DETACHED FROM THE CHAIR! BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP JACOB. HE WRAPS THE STEEL AROUND THE THROAT OF LANNISTER AND BEGINS TO PULL BACK; LANNISTER BEGINS TO GASP FOR AIR AND REACH FOR THE ROPES AS SENN WITHOUT CAUTION LOOKS TO END THE MATCH.
Kawajai: SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! IMPACT PULLING IT ALL TOGETHER TO CONNECT WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK DRIVING BOTH BOOTS INTO THE FACE OF JACOB SENN! SENN RELEASES HOLD OF THE CHAIR’S FRAME AND LANNISTER ROLLS AWAY, COUGHING AND TAKING IN THE DEEP BREATHS. Senn bounces back to his feet and so does Impact! Both men meet in the middle of the ring and begin to trade blows! Left and right fists go flying but Impact swings wildly and Senn ducks! Senn pulls Impact in and connects with the exploder suplex! Impact quickly races back to his feet but stumbles into the corner AND HE’S MET WITH A RUNNING KNEE BY SENN! Senn tosses Impact out of the way and climbs to the top rope! LOOKING FOR VINDICATION – THE SPIRAL TAP! BUT IMPACT RACES UP AND LIKE LANNISTER CUTS THE FEET OUT FROM UNDER JACOB SENN! IMPACT AGAIN LOOKING TO SUCCESSFUL LAND THE FRANKENSTEINER! IMPACT LAUNCHES HIMSELF UP ONTO THE SHOULDERS OF SENN BUT HE’S SENT CRASHING TO THE CANVAS EMPTY HANDED AS SENN HOLDS ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE. SENN DROPS BACK TO THE SECOND ROPE AND WATCHES OVER HIS SHOULDER AS IMPACT RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AND TURNS! PHENOMENON DDT! THE MOONSAULT INTO THE REVERSE DDT, SENN PLANTS IMPACT AND CLIMBS INTO THE PIN!
OONNEEE!!!!!! TTTWWOOOO!!!!!!! TTHRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO! IMPACT GETS THE SHOULDER UP AND SENN IMMEDIATELY RETURNS BACK TO HIS FEET. SENN BACKS OFF TOWARDS THE CORNER, LOOKING FOR GRAVITY FALLS. IMPACT RISES TO HIS KNEES AND SENN MOVES IN! GRAVITY FALLS!!!!!
Kawajai: NO, IMPACT LAUNCHES HIMSELF OFF THE CANVAS! THE EVISCERATION! SENN CATCHES IMPACT AND SHOVES HIM AWAY; SENN DRIVES THE BOOT TO THE STOMACH AND LOOKS TO CONNECT WITH WEAPON X! BUT IMPACT SAW IT COMING AND SHOVES SENN AWAY INTO THE WAITING CLUTCHES OF LANNISTE–
Cherish: FEUER FREI!!!! LANNISTER DIGGING DEEP!! NO! IMPOSSIBLE! SENN GRABS THE ARM AND ROLLS THROUGH WITH AN ARMDRAG BUT HIS HAND STILL TIGHTLY CLUTCHES LANNISTER’S ARM AS HE DRAGS HIM BACK TO HIS FEET AND DRIVES THE POINT OF HIS BOOT INTO THE MIDSECTION!! WEAPON X!!! THE STUNNER CONNECTS!! LANNISTER TUMBLES INTO THE ROPES BUT HE REMAINS ON HIS FEET. THE EVISCERATION!!!! Y2IMPACT CONNECTS WITH THE DOUBLE KNEE FACEBUSTER AND LANNISTER TUMBLES TO THE CANVAS. IMPACT RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AND TURNS HIS ATTENTION BACK TO JACOB…
Jake Mercer: AND JACOB SENN DRIVES THE STEEL FRAME OF THE CHAIR BETWEEN THE EYES! GOODBYE AND GOODNIGHT Y2IMPACT. Senn realises this match is his as he slowly drops into the cover.
OONNEEE!!!!!! TTTWWOOOO!!!!!!! TTHRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Kawajai: IMPACT GETS THE SHOULDER UP! KEEPS THE MATCH ALIVE AND SENN CAN’T BELIEVE IT. YOUR “GREAT CHAMPION” JAKE IS FURIOUS. SENN RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AND BACKS HIMSELF INTO THE CORNER; METHODICALLY STALKING IMPACT WHO BARELY GETS BACK TO A SINGLE KNEE BEFORE COLLAPSING BACK TO THE CANVAS; BLOOD BEGINNING TO TRICKLE DOWN FROM A WOUND JUST ABOVE HIS EYES. Lannister has barely moved and it dawns on Senn he’s the only man standing. A wicked grin washes over his face as he turns his attention back to Y2Impact. Jacob Senn readies himself in the corner as Impact begins to pick himself up off the canvas! GRAVITY FALLS! THE CURB STOMP DRIVING THE SKULL OF Y2IMPACT INTO THE CANVAS. SENN DESPERATELY ROLLS HIM OVER AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS.
OONNEEE!!!!!! TTTWWOOOO!!!!!!! TTHRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Cherish: NO! NO! IMPACT STILL GETS THE SHOULDER UP. SENN THOUGHT HE HAD HIM. JACOB SENN CAN’T BELIEVE IT; HE SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE IMPACT KICKED OUT OF GRAVITY FALLS. SENN DRIVING BOTH FISTS INTO THE CANVAS OUT OF FRUSTRATION. SENN TRYING TO DRAG IMPACT BACK TO HIS FEET, LOOKING FOR WEAPON X BUT IMPACT COLLAPSES BACK TO THE CANVAS. Lannister has barely moved, Impact barely capable of raising his head off the canvas.
Kawajai: Jacob Senn looking to end it once and for all! He backs himself into the corner, looking for another Gravity Falls but Impact has barely moved. Senn’s expression of pure frustration has been washed over with another grin, of evil intentions! Senn slowly backing up onto the second rope! No, he can’t be? NOW THE TOP ROPE! JACOB SENN IS PERCHED ON THE TOP ROPE SCREAMING AT IMPACT TO RISE BACK TO HIS FEET. IMPACT STIRS ON THE CANVAS BELOW, THE TRICKLE OF BLOOD NOW A STREAM, STAINING THE CANVAS. LANNISTER LIKEWISE STARTING TO PULL HIMSELF UP OFF THE CANVAS BUT COLLAPSES; SENN DOESN’T CARE. SENN LAUNCHES FROM TH–
Jake Mercer: GRAVITY FALLS!!!!!! THE PUNISHER RE–
Cherish: FEUER FREI!!!!! FEUER FREI!!!!! GOOD LORD, FROM OUT OF NOWHERE LANNISTER ALMOST DECAPITATES JACOB SENN MID AIR. LANNISTER LAUNCHING HIMSELF OFF THE CANVAS AND ONE FINAL GASP, THE LAST CHANCE AND IT CONNECTS. SENN COLLAPSES TO CANVAS IN A HEAP AND LANNISTER DRAPS THE ARM ACROSS THE CHEST.
Kawajai: IMPACT STUMBLES BACK BARELY TO A VERTICAL BASE!!!
Cherish: BUT IT’S TOO LATE! IMPACT CRASHES DOWN ON THE PIN BUT IT’S TOO LATE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“The Eagle Has Landed” by Avatar plays as Impact rolls off Lannister and out of the ring. Slowly, Lannister rises back to his feet. He’s handed the Answers World Championship and proceeds to hold it high above his head)
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner…THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION…”DARTH” LLLAAAANNNNNNNNNIIIISSSTTTTEEERRRRR!!!
Cherish: LANNISTER CONQUERS SENN AND IMPACT! SHOWDOWN CONQUERS DYNASTY AND VOLTAGE! THE GREATEST CHAMPION IN EAW, DARTH LANNISTER!
Kawajai: But what an outstanding display of talent. All three men fighting tooth and nail, leaving it all in the ring to prove why they sit at the pinnacle of this business as champion. All three went through hell at Road to Redemption but to back it up this week is incredible.
Jake Mercer: He had it…he absolutely had it…
Cherish: IT DOESN’T MATTER. LANNISTER REIGNS, SHOWDOWN REIGNS.
(The camera pans to Jacob Senn clutching his World Heavyweight Championship in one hand against his chest and holding his jaw with the other. The Camera swaps to Impact holding the EAW Championship over his shoulder and clutching the back of his head. The camera turns to the announce table where Cherish stands tall, applauding Lannister and Mercer sits with his hands in his head, dejected by the result)
Kawajai: Thank you for joining us for an extraordinary evening! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE, GOOD NIGHT FROM CHICAGO! MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Lannister climbs to the second rope and holds his championship above his head as the camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo buzzes)