(EAW Intro Plays)
(“Bully” by Shinedown hits as fireworks go off all over the Voltage ramp pathway, the crowd cheering and reacting loudly, their cheers reaching a crescendo as we head down toward commentators Nick Angel and Kawajai)
Nick Angel: A great slate of matches prepared for the people of Egypt tonight, for sure! Welcome to Voltage!
Kawajai: It’s going to leave a lasting impression on this crowd. Let’s take it to the action…
(Camera pans to ringside where “DEVIL” by Shinedown blares the speakers as Wolfgang Cradle emerges from behind the curtain)
Rebecca Sawyer: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…..from Chicago, Illinois…weighing in at two hundred and thirty nine pounds……THE REAPER……WWWOOOLLFFFGGAANNNGGG CRRADDLLLEE!!!!
Nick Angel: This man is making his debut tonight and looks very determined! Let’s see what he is made of!
(Cradle slides in the ring as “Psyched Out” by the Supersuckers hits)
(Ryan Wilson comes out as the crowd cheers him on then quickly makes his way to the ring)
Rebecca Sawyer: And his opponent…..from Montreal, Quebec, Canada…weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds…..THE JERK WITH A MOUTH……RRRYYAAANN WIIILLLSSOOOONN!!!!
Kawajai: Ryan Wilson came up short in his triple threat match last week but let;s see if he can get redemption and pick up the win!
(Ryan Wilson hops in the ring and stretches using the ropes as his theme song does down)
DING! DING! DING!
Kawajai: This one is underway! This should be a good one as both men lock up in the center of the ring! Wolfgang has the headlock in…Ryan runs and pushes him and Wolfgang bounces off the ropes and his a shoulder tackle! Wolfgang looks down at Ryan….and Wolfgang runs to the ropes again and Ryan pops up and hits a armdrag!! Wolfgang rolls underneath the bottom rope and takes a second on the outside of the ring!
Ryan Wilson (Without a mic): COME ON!!
Nick Angel: Ryan is begging for Wolfgang to get back in the ring! Wolfgang is still taking his time here. He turns around for a quick second then turns back around and WOAHHH RYAN WILSON HITS A SUCIDE DIVE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING AND WOLFGANG CRASHES INTO THE BARRICADE!!
Kawajai: Ryan is trying to fire up the crowd and he tosses Wolfgang back into the ring! Ryan slides back in the ring but Wolfgang is already back to his feet and RYAN RUNS RIGHT INTO A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!!
Nick Angel: Wolfgang lifts Ryan up and connects with a knee to the midsection! And another one! Wolfgang now puts Ryan’s arm over his head and lifts him high up in the air!! Ryan trying to fight out of it and Wolfgang lets him down but hit another knee to the midsection! He lifts him up once more and OH! Wolfgang tosses him onto the rope and Ryan is just hanging there in pain! And uh oh Wolfgang jumps off the middle rope and connects with a dropkick and Ryan falls right down to the floor!
(Wolfgang taunts to the crowd proud of himself)
Nick Angel: Wolfgang is wasting precious time here! He should be on the attack but is giving Ryan time to recover! Wolfgang finally exits the ring and slowly places Ryan back in then slowly slides in himself!
Kawajai: Wolfgang is circling around Ryan here…..he smells blood! He is measuring Ryan here…and Ryan turns around and Wolfgang CONNECTS WITH THE MUSCLE TONER!! THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!!
Kawajai: BUT NO! RYAN GETS HIS SHOULDER UP AT TWO! Wolfgang looks annoyed but then stands Ryan up and lifts him up in a powerslam position but NO RYAN SLIPS FROM BEHIND AND CONNECTS WITH THE NECKBREAKER!
Nick Angel: Both men are down now! Who wants this match more? Ryan gets to his feet and quickly goes on the attack and hits a INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER!! Ryan then quickly lifts him up and drives him to the corner…he takes three steps back and hits a enziguiri to the back of the head of Wolfgang! Wolfgang falls to one knee as Ryan hops on the second rope….and…TORNADO DDT OF DEATH!! IS THIS IT?!?
Kawajai: NO!! I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT! But Wolfgang finds a way to get out of that one! Ryan looks around for a second questioning what next to do. He very slowly lifts Wolfgang off the mat and WOAH Wolfgang wakes up and connects with a right! Ryan hits a right of his own…..NOW BOTH MEN RUN TOWARD THE ROPES, BUT WOLFGANG CRADLE IS JUST A BIT QUICKER, AND HE SENDS RYAN WILSON TUMBLING OVER THE TOP ROPES. ON THE FALL, BOTH MEN LANDED ON THEIR HEADS! THE REFEREE IS BEGINNING HIS COUNT AS BOTH MEN LAY, MAYBE UNCONSCIOUSLY, ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING…
Ref: ONEEEEEEE….TWOOOOOOO….. THREEEEEEEEE…. FOURRRRRRR…. FIVEEEEEEEE…. SIXXXXXX…. SEVENNNNN… EIIIIIIIIIIGHT… NIIIIIIIIINEEEEE…..
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Kawajai: Wow! Neither man could rise to their feet by the count of ten. Both of them are just laying there, just now starting to stir!
RA: This match has been declared a no contest as a result of a double countout!
Nick Angel: The two individuals were in the middle of action and suddenly everything changed. Just in an instant. I hope Ryan Wilson can recover in time for his show tonight… He seems to be starting to stir.
(Ryan Wilson is the first man up to his feet, dissatisfied with the double countout, clearly wanting more but both men receive a standing ovation from the crowd, the audience clapping, seemingly just relieved both men aren’t seriously hurt)
Kawajai: Gutsy stand by Ryan Wilson. We’re going to cut to the back.
(Max A. Million is seen standing by backstage with Lars Grier. Grier appears reserved)
Max: Lars, you suffered a tough loss to a returning Impact in the main event of last week’s Voltage. You’ve suffered some tough losses in general. You failed to capture the World Heavyweight Champion. Where do you go from here?
Lars: You know, Max, I’ve been wondering the same thing. The word I’m focusing on now is simple: Clarity. I’m not going to allow these losses to dictate anything that happens in the future. When you’re trying to reach a goal, what matters is more the fact that you DO get there, not how you arrive. I just wanna tell everybody right now, for those doubters out there, there’s a method to the madness. Greatness is looming on the horizon. The current faces of EAW are ones that I’m going to punch. I’m going to knock them in the mouth and turn and make everybody respect Lars Grier whether they like me or not.
Max: What is your immediate goal?
Lars: Like I told you, Max – and I love that suit, by the way – C-L-A-R-I-T-Y. I just spelled it out for you. Whether I’m mining for gold or digging through the slums for scraps, ultimately everything I want to achieve is within my grasp. I don’t know if my window of opportunity is narrowing. I’ve definitely been feeling the heat recently. I feel like people around me want me to crumble underneath the pressure I’m facing. From here on out, you’re seeing the start of a different Lars Grier. Not the Lars Grier that couldn’t capture the World Heavyweight Title from O’Hara. The Lars Grier that stacks bodies on top of each other after I knock ’em out. And whatever happens next, whatever the result, they’re going to feel my wrath.
(Lars seems to be walking away for a moment, only to step back in the frame to the surprise of Max)
Lars: And one more thing…
Lars: Come hell or high water, this story ends one way… I’m going to be the World Heavyweight Champion.
(Lars walks away as as Max A. Million nods. Camera pans out)
(Camera pans to ringside where “Can’t Be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr. hits as Terry Chambers makes his way down the aisle…)
Kawajai: We understand Terry Chambers is out to call out Erebus Jennings. Erebus Jennings, returning to EAW last week, interfered and took Terry Chambers’ out of the Triple Threat action he was competing in.
Nick Angel: But can you really call someone like Erebus Jennings to the floor? This isn’t court and Terry Chambers isn’t exactly a judge. Does he command the kind of respect that he can do that to someone like Erebus, Kawa?
(As Terry is walking down the ramp, the lights flicker black and then turn light again, before turning pitch black)
Kawajai: What the hell is this?!
(The lights in the arena return to normal, and Terry Chambers is laid out on the ramp. High above him is a grim-faced Erebus Jennings, his eyes steely and his face painted white with black lines cutting through, red “teardrop” themed paint below both of his eyes…)
Kawajai: EREBUS JENNINGS JUST LAID TERRY CHAMBERS OUT! NOBODY SAW IT, BUT TERRY CHAMBERS WAS ABOUT TO GO IN THE RING, GRAB A MICROPHONE, AND DEMAND EREBUS TO COME OUT — BUT EREBUS ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT! THE MAN IS HERE — IN THE FLESH.
(The lights darken once again for several moments. As they turn back on, both Terry and Erebus Jennings are gone…)
Nick Angel: What the hell, Kawa? I’ve never seen anything like this. Did Erebus Jennings abduct Terry Chambers? Is he holding him hostage? Or did he simply take him out of plain view to give him an answer in his own domain…?
Kawajai: Sometimes in a search for answers all you find is more questions.
Nick Angel: Wow…
(The crowd is stunned as the camera fades out)
( ‘Psyched Out’ by The Supersuckers is playing over the sound system, and Ryan Wilson is in the ring wearing a blazer over his ring gear, surrounded by his “Ryan Wilson Show” set – which features a Fallon-like set up with a couch next to a desk for the host to sit at, some potted plants along the side, and a display of several Marvel superhero cosplay outfits hanging for decor. Ryan Wilson is standing by with a microphone in hand. )
Ryan Wilson: Welcome ladies and gents to the world premiere of Sunday Night Voltage’s newest and most exclusive late night talk show… THE RYAN WILSON SHOW!!!
( Pop from the crowd. )
Ryan Wilson: Thank you! I am your host, Ryan Wilson, proud and honored to give you journalism like you haven’t seen before! No longer will you have to sit through boring interviews from corporate stooges reading pre-approved lines off of a teleprompter, this time around I’m here to ask the questions that people actually want to hear, and bring forward the answers that people want to know! After all what good is the “Answers” in Elite Answers Wrestling if we aren’t getting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?!
Tonight’s show promises to be unapologetic, unfiltered, uncensored, unmitigated, we are LIVE baby, and anything can happen on live TV! My first guest is a real doozy – he is a man who wears many hats, and is bestowed many titles. He is known as “The Gawd”, “The Gaywad”, “The Rectal Prolapser”, “The King of the Cleveland Steamer” and perhaps most proudly holds the title as The Sheriff of the Gay Meat Community. He is an EAW Hall of Famer, the EAW Elitist of the Decade, and the chairman of Elite Answers Wrestling… and also a fellow Ryan … GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO RYAN ADAMS AKA MR. DEDEDE!!!!
( Ryan points to the live band at the side of the stage, and they play a jazz rendition of “Carrera Lu” by Lupe Fiasco. The crowd gives a massive roar of applause as Mr. DEDEDE strolls out to the ring dressed in a button down shirt and some slacks with the #GMC police vest on, slapping hands with the crowd on his way down the aisle. He plays up the crowd as he enters the ring, and he and Ryan Wilson shake hands before the live band finishes the tune. DDD takes a seat on the couch, and Ryan Wilson sits behind the desk. )
Ryan Wilson: Thank you to my live band, The Wilsonators, and one more time give it up for The Sheriff!!!
( The crowd cheers wildly. )
Ryan Wilson: Great to have ya’ Ryan!
Mr. DEDEDE: Great to be here, Ryan. Thank you everybody, I feel the love! I’m proud to receive such a warm welcome from my Egyptian fans, especially since I think it’s still illegal to be gay around these parts.
Ryan: Well I’m sure I speak for many of us in the backstage EAW locker room when I say that I am proud of the bravery you’ve shown in being able to come out as a homosexual and embrace your inner-gayness, it takes real balls to do that! But a title such as “Sheriff of the Gay Meat Community” comes with a lotta weight there, Ryan. It’s one thing to talk the talk, but it’s another to walk the walk.
DDD: Oh I agree.
Ryan: That being said, what are some things you have done to help the Gay Meat Community flourish as its Sheriff and captain?
DDD: Uhh, well … I think embracing my homo nature and carrying the banner of the GMC has done volumes to embolden the Gay Meat Community in all walks of life. In many of my press appearances, awards show appearances, and paid speeches to international political organizations – I wore this vest right here proudly that bears the sigil of the GMC, and being a respected representative for a community as marginalized as ours has given many gays, dykes, trannies and curious faggots in the LGBTQ community the inspiration they need to make it through each grueling day.
Ryan: Right, but have you donated to any charities or set up any organizations or non-profits to help gay people out in their time of need?
DDD: Did I mention I have a new book coming out?
( DDD motions to the TV screen, and it shows him holding a book showing Cy Henderson on top of him delivering the STF, with heart eyes photoshopped over Cy’s eyes, and a dildo superimposed into DDD’s mouth. The crowd cheers at the picture. )
DDD: It’s titled “#GMC Chronicles: The Diary of a Gay Pro Wrestler”. Book hits the stores June 11th, pre-orders start April 30th!
Ryan: Well I thought we were gonna wait to plug your book at the end of the show, but speaking of your book I actually got a chance to read an excerpt from it and I’ve got to say boss, I found it incredibly riveting!
DDD: Thank you! I think this book will change the way the wrestling business is looked at forever.
Ryan: There was one part of the book actually that I wanted to ask you about because I couldn’t believe it was true. Apparently there was one part where you were almost killed at an orgy some-odd years ago by… Diamond Cage???
DDD: Oh yeah!
Ryan: Apparently something about how you double-teamed a woman and your balls touched? Tell us more about this.
DDD: Right right so, and I don’t want to spoil the book, but I do go through a lot of the sexual proclivities that go on in the EAW locker room. And of course while I carry the banner of the Gay Meat Community I do engage in Pansexual behavior, just meaning that my attraction isn’t necessarily limited to one particular gender, species or age. Anyway this story happened back in 2013 actually, when Cage and I were the EAW Tag Team Champions. So some of the other Hall of Famers and I own a few villas across the globe where we orchestrate these great big fantastic orgys, usually involving copious women, booze and some other such. It gets pretty wild.
Ryan: Wow! Go on.
DDD: So I drag Cage to an orgy since he and his wife or should I say now ex-wife, Brittany were going through a pretty rough patch. So Cage and I are in my Italian villa and the bus full of high class hookers we ordered are running late, so I order a skank off of backpage just to kill time. Long story short, we’re plowing the shit out of her, she’s on top of Cage doing the reverse cowgirl so I’m trying to slide in as well. And anybody who’s been in an orgy with me knows I’ve got big floppy balls.
Ryan: Right right, in your book you referred to them as “dumbo-balls”.
DDD: Right, because my balls dumb big. So I try to get the double team going but my balls knock right into his. So Cage throws the prostitute off of him – and I mean literally CHUCKS her off of him, and starts cussing me out. I’m thinking okay it’s the blow, he’s bugging out but it’s nothing serious, THEN HE GRABS HIS FUCKING GUN.
DDD: Right? He used to always carry the strap around, while I’m more of a strap-on kind of man, but anyways Cage literally cocks it and is about to blow my fucking head off, but thank God HBB was there and was able to talk him out of it. But yeah moral of the story is if you’re going to tag team a thot with Diamond Cage DO NOT accidently let your balls touch, or he’ll kill you.
Ryan: My lord! Well Ladies and Gents I don’t know about you but this book sounds like it’s going to be a must-read. So boss I wanted to press you more on the in-ring side of things, because I distinctly remember you having the goals and the aspirations to become the first ever gay Grand Rampage winner –
DDD: OPENLY gay. Just want to clarify since there are certainly more than a few gay former Grand Rampage winners.
Ryan: My apologies – the first OPENLY gay Grand Rampage winner, and you also planned of course on going into Pain for Pride Festival this year to become the first ever openly gay EAW World Champion. And truth be told it certainly seemed like you were well on track to doing that, you delivered on Voltage after Voltage in weekly competition, you had a great showing in the Grand Rampage match up, even made it to the final 2, but you weren’t able to grasp that Answers World Championship due to being eliminated by Carlos Rosso at the very end of the match up. How has that loss affect your outlook heading into Pain for Pride Festival?
DDD: Well it does hurt to know that I wasn’t able to achieve my goal of becoming the first openly gay Grand Rampage winner. I had the vision in my head so clearly of the outlook, I could practically see it now… me in front of 80 thousand fellow Californians, a large percentage of them probably gay, roaring in applause as I wave the gay flag and point to the Pain for Pride sign in the horizon. But that dream got ripped away from me, which means I just have to deal with the reality now. But the reality isn’t always such a bad thing, because while I may not have left GR the winner, I still have two months until Pain for Pride Festival, meaning I have plenty of time to still achieve my ultimate goal of bringing the big prize home to the GMC at the granddaddy of them all.
Ryan: But how do you plan to do that? I mean certainly you are the EAW Chairman, you can stipulate just about anything to happen, but knowing the kind of competitor you are, how do you plan to justifiably enter World Title contention?
DDD: That’s a good question.
( “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode hits, and Kenny Drake walks out to the ring with a microphone in hand. DDD and Ryan Wilson look confused as he walks down the ramp and steps into the ring, and Kenny’s music cuts off as he begins to speak. )
Ryan: Uh, dude, it’s not your show.
Kenny Drake: SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I FIRE YOU. *Kenny Drake turns to DDD* I’m sick of it. I’M SICK OF IT!!!!!
Kenny: FIRST NAS, THEN TARAH, THEN SENN, THEN ARIA, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD! YOU’VE PUSHED ME TO THE EDGE!
Ryan: Someone forgot to take his pills?
DDD: What the fuck are you on about?
Kenny: THEN KEELAN, THEN OASIS, EVEN JON! YOU’VE RAN ALL MY BUDDIES OUT OF THE COMPANY, AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I’m gonna give you FOUR options. 1. Step down as Chairman, 2. stop what you’re doing, 3. force me to step down as Voltage GM, or 4. continue what you’re doing and watch as I burn EAW to the GROUND!!!
DDD: Is this because I’m gay?
Kenny: THIS IS THE DARKEST TIME IN EAW HISTORY AND I WON’T STAND FOR IT. YOU EITHER GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, OR I’LL MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF YOU!
DDD: I’m tempted to choose option 3, but option 4 might be a bit more interesting.
Kenny: WHAT ARE ALL OF THESE REVOLT! PEOPLE HUH? YOU’RE KILLING EAW AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT! EAW DOESN’T FEEL LIKE EAW ANYMORE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GLORY DAYS OF 2015 TO EARLY 2017, HUH?! THOSE WERE EAW’S BUILDING BLOCKS!!!
DDD: I apologize that all of your friends aren’t here, but that’s no reason to take this out on me.
Kenny: YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN A FAGGOT!!!!
( The whole crowd has a shocked expression, and Ryan Wilson looks on in shock as well. )
DDD: Oh yeah? Well you’re nothing more than fired.
Kenny: OH YEAH?!?!
Kenny: WELL GOOD, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS FOR A LONG TIME!
( Kenny lunges for DDD’s throat, but DDD immediately kicks Kenny in the nuts, and Kenny Drake drops down to the mat in agony. The crowd gives a standing ovation, and “Carrera Lu” by Lupe Fiasco comes on as DDD shrugs his shoulders and celebrates with the audience while Kenny Drake lays there paralyzed on the mat. )
Kawajai: NO MORE KENNY DRAKE??? HALLELUJAH!
Nick Angel: This is great! This feels like something that should have happened two weeks ago!
Kawajai: To be honest I forgot Kenny Drake as even general manager, but nevertheless The Sheriff makes quick work of our now-ex Voltage General Manager! GMC Chronicles: The Diary of a Gay Pro Wrestler is in stores June 11th, don’t forget to order 6 copies!
Nick Angel: It’s a truly riveting tale for everyone in the household, with an assortment of stories from DDD’s long tenured wrestling career. It’s a must-read, so make sure to get your copy on June 11th in a bookstore near you! Preorders open up on Amazon and Kindle on April the 30th!
( Kenny Drake gets taken away by security screaming “DIE EAW! DIE!” and DDD celebrates on the top turnbuckle throwing up the mano cornuto hand signs. )
( The camera cuts to the ring where Rebecca Sawyer is standing by with a mic in hand. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Rebecca Sawyer: This match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first…
( “Pray For Me” by G-Eazy starts to play throughout the arena. A mixed reaction of cheers and boos form as Andrei Sokolova walks out onto the stage. He makes his way to the ring, disregarding anyone trying to get his attention, focused on the ring. )
Rebecca Sawyer: Weighing in at two hundred and forty-five pounds… From Bucharest, Romania… He is the “Agent of Chaos”… ANDREIIII SOKOOLOVVAAAA!!!!!
Kawajai: Last week Andrei showed up face-to-face with Chris Elite and from the looks of it, he’s ready to claim an EAW Championship.
Nick Angel: Do you blame him? With the merge of EAW and REVOLT! he lost the Championship he had just won. He still sees himself as the Champion.
Rebecca Sawyer: And his opponent…
( “It Follows” by Cain Hill begins to play through the speakers. Xander Payne steps out onto the stage to a roar of boos filling the entire arena. He walks to the ring, unfazed by any noise directed at him. )
Rebecca Sawyer: Weighing in at two hundred fifty-five pounds… From Brampton, Ontario, Canada… “The Paynekiller”… XAANNDDERRR PAYYNEEEE!!!
Kawajai: Coming off of a win last week, Xander is ready to face the first ever REVOLT! Heavyweight Champion and try to make a statement tonight!
Nick Angel: This ruthless man has his work cut out for him, Andrei is afraid of no one and he wasn’t the Heavyweight Champion for no reason.
( Andrei Sokolova and Xander Payne stand in the ring, eyeing each other without paying any attention to anything around them. The ref signals for the bell. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Kawajai: This match has officially started! Both men begin to inch closer to one another and Andrei is looking for the lock up. Xander completes the lock up and immediately has Andrei in a lock up! But Andrei pushes Xander off of him and he runs into the ropes. Xander rebounds and meets a fist from Andrei! He falls down to the mat, but gets back to his feet just a second later. Andrei drops him with another fist. Xander rises back up again and Andrei meets him with a back hand chop to his chest! He goes for another, but Xander blocks it and pushes him back. He’s charging at him… SPINEBUSTER FROM ANDREI! Great counter to put Xander down to the mat for longer than a second. He bends down to grab a hold of him and Xander chops him in the throat! Quickly, he grabs a hold of Andrei’s head and then connects a jawbreaker! Andrei is still on his feet. Xander gets to his feet, runs against the ropes and then connects a discus palm strike right to Andrei’s face! Andrei falls into the ropes AND HE COMES BACK WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Nick Angel: NO! XANDER DUCKS! Andrei turns around and Xander gets him in a suplex position. He’s got him lifted up vertical right now… HE RUNS AND CONNECTS THE RUNNING BRAINBUSTER! Xander is running for the turnbuckles right now. He climbs up and looks down at Andrei… 450 SPLASH!! WAIT NO! ANDREI ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND XANDER LANDS STOMACH FIRST INTO THE MAT! Andrei goes for the cover!
Kawajai: Andrei was able to roll out of the way and capitalize on a moment in his favor, but Xander kicked out! With things slowed down now, Andrei grabs a hold of him and lifts him up. He whips him into the corner and follows right behind him. He connects a running elbow right to Xander’s jaw! He’s lifting him up to the top rope now! He’s climbing up right with him! HE’S GOING FOR A SUPERPLEX! THEY’RE FALLING OFF THE TOP ROPE AND THE SUPERPLEX CONNECTS! Andrei grabs a hold of his back as he throws an arm over the top of Xander for the cover!
Nick Angel: Xander kicks out! Andrei strokes his beard before bringing Xander up to a vertical base with him. He sends him running into the ropes and goes for the snap powerslam, but Xander doesn’t allow it! He’s got his feet planted on the mat and throws an elbow right to Andrei’s jaw. He releases the hold. Now Xander has a hold of him! BRIDGING FISHERMAN SUPLEX!
Kawajai: Andrei kicks out! Xander immediately rises to his feet and starts to stomp a mudhole in his opponent! Starting at the chest and then down to the legs and back up to the chest again! He pulls Andrei up to a vertical base and then whips him into the ropes. Andrei holds on and Xander is charging with a clothesline! ANDREI LIFTS HIM UP AND OVER! BUT XANDER LANDS ON THE APRON! Andrei turns around and Xander strikes him right in the face and then grabs a hold of him… NO WAY! THE PAYNEDRIVER! THE CROSS-LEGGED FISHERMAN BUSTER OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE OUTSIDE! HE CONNECTED IT!
Nick Angel: THE REF STARTS THE COUNT AND BOTH MEN ARE HURT, BUT XANDER IS GETTING BACK TO HIS FEET!
Kawajai: He pulls Andrei up to his feet and then throws him right into the steel steps! ANDREI IS IN ABSOLUTE PAIN! His back just collided with the steps and Xander isn’t letting up on him right now!
Nick Angel: He really isn’t! He grabs a hold of him and then throws him back first into the barricade! Xander has this look in his eyes that he’s about to do something dirty…
Kawajai: RUNNING KNEE STRIKE TO ANDREI! NO ANDREI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND XANDER DRIVES HIS KNEE INTO THE BARRICADE!
Nick Angel: Andrei quickly rises to his feet and grabs a hold of Xander from behind… BACK SUPLEX ONTO THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE! OH MY GOD! XANDER FALLS AND IS SEATED AGAINST THE BARRICADE AFTER THAT!
Kawajai: ANDREI IS LOOKING AT XANDER THE SAME WAY HE JUST LOOKED AT HIM… SEEING RED! HE’S SEEING RED AND THE BICYCLE KNEE JUST CONNECTED ON HIM!
Nick Angel: XANDER’S HEAD WAS JUST SMASHED BETWEEN A KNEE AND A BARRICADE! Andrei grabs a hold of a lifeless Xander Payne and throws him back into the ring right before the ref counts to eight! He goes for the pinfall!
Kawajai: ALMOST! ANDREI ALMOST HAD THE MATCH WON! He pulls Xander up to his feet and he’s looking for the finish! HE’S GOT HIM READY FOR THE CHAOS CONTROL! HE’S GOING FOR IT! BUT XANDER SPINS THROUGH AND HAS ANDREI IN THE PILEDRIVER POSITION! HE’S TRYING TO LIFT HIM UP BUT HE’S NOT BUDGING! XANDER IS CLUBBING HIM IN THE BACK TRYING TO GET HIM WEAKENED! HE STILL WON’T BUDGE! ANDREI LIFTS HIM UP AND OVER HIS BODY AND XANDER LANDS ON HIS BACK!
Nick Angel: ANDREI PULLS HIM UP ONCE AGAIN AND GOES FOR THE CHAOS CONTROL… AGAIN… HE’S GOT IT THIS TIME! THE ROLLING CUTTER CONNECTS AND ANDREI SOKOLOVA IS GOING FOR THE COVER!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Pray For Me” by G-Eazy starts to play as a mixed reaction forms from the crowd. Andrei stands above Xander with his hand raised in victory. )
Kawajai: What a match. Both men had their opportunities and honestly I saw this match going either way. Xander had Andrei in some spots where he could’ve finished and likewise up to this ending.
Nick Angel: Once Andrei connected that bicycle knee against the barricade, I think that’s when I knew he would end up winning. That does some damage to the head and it takes time to recover from that.
Kawajai: Andrei continues to make his case known to contend for the World Heavyweight Championship and one could only wonder what the rest of his road will look like!
( The camera cuts to the ring where Rebecca Sawyer is standing by with a mic in hand. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Rebecca Sawyer: This match is scheduled for ONE FALL and is a TAG TEAM MATCH! Introducing first…
( “Disease” by Ghosts of August starts to play. A mixed reaction of boos and cheers fill the arena as Liam Archer steps out onto the stage. He makes his way to the ring. )
Rebecca Sawyer: Weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds… From Ballymun, Dublin, Ireland… “The Outlaw”… LIAMMM ARCHEERRRR!!!
( “Blood On The Leaves” by Kanye West starts to play, interrupting “Disease”. The mixed reaction of boos and cheers continue as Alejandro Correa steps out onto the stage, then making his way to the ring. )
Rebecca Sawyer: And his partner… Weighing in at two hundred and five pounds… From Madrid, Spain… ALLEEJJANNDROOOO CORREAAAAAA!!!
Kawajai: The way Liam is looking at Alejandro right now would lead me to believe we might see some problems between the two in this match.
Nick Angel: Well, Alejandro’s entrance cut off his music, so I wouldn’t blame him for having some sort of problem with it.
Kawajai: That’s just childish, move on and focus on the match. That’s all I got to say.
( “Wild Boys” by Duran Duran begins to play. The crowd continues their mix of boos and cheers and Jimmy and Billy Wild run out onto the stage and then run to the ring. )
Rebecca Sawyer: And their opponents… From Rancho Cucamonga, California… Weighing in at a combined weight of three hundred and fifty pounds… BILLY WILD AND JIMMY WILD… THE WILLLDDD BOYYSSSSS!!!!
Nick Angel: The Wild Boys might be able to make easy work of this team of Correa and Archer if they aren’t on the same page.
Kawajai: They need to bounce back after last week and this could be it for them!
( Liam and Alejandro seem to be arguing about who’s going to start the match as Billy Wild of the Wild Boys is in the ring with Jimmy on the apron. Liam steps out and Alejandro stands in the ring circling around the ring with Billy. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Kawajai: Alejandro and Billy are starting this one out as they two thrust forward and lock up in the middle of the ring! They both seem to struggle to get an advantage for a second, then Billy gets Alejandro in a headlock! Alejandro struggles, but is able to get out of it with a back suplex onto Billy! Billy rises to his feet only to meet the back of Alejandro’s hand to his chest! Another one! Another one! I’m starting to sound like DJ Khaled now thanks to Alejandro’s backhand chops… He has Billy in the corner right now pressed against the turnbuckle. He steps back one step and then connects a high knee in the corner to Billy’s jaw! Alejandro grabs a hold of his head and starts to run out of the corner with his head in between his arms! But Billy pushes him off and sends him into the corner on the opposite side! Billy charges at him now! CLOTHESLINE and he’s got his head locked in between his arms this time! He pulls him out of the corner and connects a bulldog!
Nick Angel: The corner clothesline and bulldog combo is a classic. Billy doesn’t waste any time and walks over to his partner to tag him in! Given the time they have before Billy has to exit, they pick Alejandro up and have him set up for a double suplex! THEY CONNECT IT! Billy exits the ring and Jimmy goes for the cover right now!
Kawajai: A quick kickout from Alejandro there! Jimmy rises to his feet then connects a standing moonsault. He drops down and then puts Alejandro in a grounded headlock! Jimmy is applying the pressure and you can see Alejandro’s face turning bright red right now. The crowd starts to clap and he uses that as motivation to get himself up to his feet! He thrusts his elbow into Jimmy’s gut. And again! One more time as it breaks the hold. ALEJANDRO RUNS AND TAKES DOWN JIMMY WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS! He stays mounted and starts unloading a fury of punches! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN PUNCHES RIGHT TO HIS FACE!
Nick Angel: Alejandro gets back up to his feet and looks absolutely hyped right now! He steps back and is near his corner where his partner Liam is standing. Wait… LIAM JUST TAGGED HIMSELF IN BY SMACKING ALEJANDRO’S BACK! He climbs up to the top turnbuckle… DIVING ELBOW DROP! NO JIMMY ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Alejandro still looks confused and upset in the corner! Liam drives his elbow right into the mat and Jimmy jumps toward Billy to make the tag! Liam is back to his feet, but Billy comes charging with a clothesline and takes him back down! Liam is back up, clutching his elbow, and Billy takes him down again with a clothesline!
Kawajai: Liam is back on his feet again. OH MY! CRITICAL HIT! THE SUPERMAN PUNCH CONNECTS ON LIAM! HE’S ROCKED RIGHT NOW AND BILLY RUNS TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND LEAPS OFF! WILD CRUSH! THE CORKSCREW DIVING SOMERSAULT CUTTER! CONN– WAIT LIAM IS ABLE TO SHOVE BILLY OFF OF HIM BEFORE HE CONNECTED IT! WHAT A COUNTER! Liam is still taking a second to recover and Billy is already back to his feet. He walks over to Liam and sends him into the corner with Alejandro on the side. ALEJANDRO TAGS HIMSELF IN, BUT BILLY DOESN’T NOTICE! FOREARM SMASH TO LIAM AND THEN PULLS HIM OUT FOR A SNAP SUPLEX! ALEJANDRO IS ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! DIVING CLOTHESLINE AND IT CONNECTS!
Nick Angel: Alejandro is back on his feet and he runs at Jimmy who’s on the apron! QUE GOLAZO! THE BICYCLE KICK CONNECTS AND JIMMY IS SENT TO THE OUTSIDE! Alejandro turns around to Jimmy who’s almost up to his feet. HE RUNS AT HIM NOW! QUE GOLAZO! ANOTHER BICYCLE KICK! NO BILLY DODGES THIS ONE! Alejandro turns around… SUPERKICK! BILLY CONNECTS HIS FOOT TO ALEJANDRO’S JAW AND HE GOES FOR THE COVER!
Kawajai: LIAM BREAKS UP THE PIN AND GRABS A HOLD OF BILLY… DARK DESIRES! THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT CONNECTS! LIAM ISN’T THE ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE TEAM IN THE RING BUT ALEJANDRO JUMPS ON TOP OF HIM AND GOES FOR THE COVER!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Blood On The Leaves” by Kanye West starts to play and Alejandro rolls out of the ring, holding his arm up on the way up the ramp. )
Rebecca Sawyer: And your winners… ALEJANNDRROOOO CORREAAAA AND LIAAMMM ARRCHHEERRRRR!!!
Kawajai: I have no idea how they did it, but the dysfunctional team of Alejandro and Liam were able to pull out a victory from their asses against The Wild Boys.
Nick Angel: Jimmy and Billy put up a fight, but somehow these two even with their differences defeated them.
Kawajai: I knew from the beginning there would be problems, but I didn’t see them winning this match. And then Alejandro taking the pin from Liam at the end shows they weren’t on the same page. Liam even looks frustrated.
Nick Angel: It’s a tag team match. His partner connected his finisher and the active member of the team got the pinfall. They won, I’m not sure why he would have a problem right now.
(Camera pans into the arena)
(“”Ready to Die/ Party Party Party” Remix by Andrew W.K.hits as the crowd cheers and Mongoose McQueen burts through the curtain)
(Mongoose soaks in the reaction before heading to the ring)
Rebecca Sawyer: Ladies and gentleman….the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…..from Austin, Texas…..weighing in at two hundred and two hundred and twenty four pounds…..THE DISASTER ARTIST….MMOOONNGOOOOSSSEEEE MMMCCCCQQUUEEENNNN!!!!!
(Mongoose slides in the ring, taunts on the top rope to cheers from the crowd as his theme dies down and “Paradise” by Big Sean blares the speakers)
(Malcolm Jones comes out to a chorus of cheers as he does fun-loving taunts on the stage then makes his way to the ring)
Rebecca Sawyer: And his opponent….from Harlem, New York….weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds…THE WAVE…..MAAALLCOOOLLMMMMM JOOONNNEESS!!!!!
(Malcolm Jones rolls into the ring and goes to the opposite corner and poses on top of it and looks down to Mongoose as his theme fades)
DING! DING! DING!
Kawajai: Well this should be a very fun one folks. Both men are just eyeing each other from opposite sides of the ring. Both men now circling the ring and now Mongoose raises his fist in the air to a loud crowd response! Malcolm now all of a sudden breaks into the Milly Rock to a loud ovation! Both men just trying to outdo each other here I guess. They both make their way to the center of the ring and MALCOLM OH WITH A KICK RIGHT TO THE GUT! Malcolm hits several rights to Mongoose as he backs Mongoose up against the ropes. He irish whips Mongoose but Mongoose reverses it and Mongoose goes for the clothesline as Malcolm bounces off the ropes but Malcolm ducks under and bounces off the opposite ropes and HITS A JUMPING CLOTHESLINE!
Nick Angel: Mongoose gets to his feet and Malcolm hits a dropkick and then another one! He then sets up Mongoose and now has him in a sleeperhold! Malcolm is able to get him down to the mat and the referee is asking Mongoose if he wants to give up but Mongoose is refusing! Mongoose rises to one knee! Mongoose with a elbow to the gut of Malcolm….and another one! And Malcolm finally releases the hold….AND MONGOOSE WITH A BIG EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!
Nick Angel: Malcolm is stunned….Mongoose now with a HUGE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Malcolm is laying on the ring apron trying to shake it off! Mongoose makes his way over to the apron and grabs Malcolm by the head and OH MALCOLM GRABS THE HEAD OF MONGOOSE AND DROPS DOWN TO THE OUTSIDE CAUSING MONGOOSE TO BOUNCE OFF THE ROPES!! Malcolm rolls back in the ring quickly to try and take advantage and runs a hits a enzuigiri right to the back of Mongoose’s head! Mongoose drops to both knees holding the side of his head in pain and Malcolm off the ropes CONNECTS WITH A FRANKENSTEINER DDT THAT SPIKES MONGOOSES HEAD RIGHT ON THE MAT!! THE COVER!
Kawajai: NO! NOT QUITE ENOUGH! Malcolm not wasting any time here as he lifts Mongoose up and runs him to the corner and bounces his head off the turnbuckle pad! Malcolm with repetitive elbows to the side of Mongoose! He runs to the opposite corner and CHARGES!! BUT NOBODY HOME!!! Mongoose got out of harms way and picks up Malcolm! WHAT’S HE GONNA DO?! A SPINNING BACKBACKER! AND THEN A NECKBREAKER!! SPINNING BACKBREAKER AND NECKBREAKER COMBO!! IS THIS ENOUGH?!
Nick Angel: NOT IT IS NOT!! MALCOLM JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Mongoose lifts Malcolm up off the mat and SETS UP FOR THE SPINAL TAP!!! AND IT CONNECTS!! WAIT NO!!! MALCOLM COUNTERS IT INTO A ARM DRAG!! MONGOOSE AND MALCOLM RACE TO THEIR FEET AND MONGOOSE RUNS INTO A SUPERKICK FROM MALCOM!!!!
Kawajai: Malcolm not going for the cover…what is he doing?! Malcolm rolls to the outside on the ring apron and is climbing the turnbuckle!! WHAT IS HE THINKING?! HE IS GOING FOR THE UPTOWN RIDE!! HE’S AIRBORNE!!! BUT MONGOOSE MOVES AGAIN!!!
Nick Angel: Mongoose now crawling around and pulls himself up by the ropes and is making his way to Malcolm and IS SETTING UP FOR THE KILLER MCQUEEN!!!! HE HAS THE LEGS WRAPPED!! BUT OH MY GOD MALCOLM REVERSES AND THROWS MCQUEEN BACK WITH HIS LEGS AND MONGOOSE HITS THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE FACE FIRST!!! MALCOLM NOW BACK TO HIS FEET!! HE CHARGES AND FAKES A CLOTHESLINE, BUT MOONGOOSE SIDESTEPS IT — ONLY, RIGHT AS HE DOES, MALCOLM WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE OF MOONGOOSE! AND A SMALL PACKAGE PIN IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!… TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!… THREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Paradise” by Big Sean hits as Malcolm Jones’ hand is raised by the referee)
RA: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL… MALCOLM JONESSSSSS!!!!
Kawajai: What a dirty tactic by Malcolm Jones just now. Does he have no shame?
Nick Angel: I guess all is fair in love and war. Moongoose has faced some misfortunes of late but the two were smack-dab in the middle of the action and Malcolm just took him by surprise!
(Camera pans to ringside where “Can I Live” by Jay-Z plays as the cameras filming the show immediately take on a black and white color, the lights in the arena themselves flickering black and white as well as Impact walks out from behind the curtain, cavalierly sauntering down the ramp as he wears an indignant expression on his face, closing his eyes he walks mid-way down the aisle for multiple seconds before reopening them, walking up the steel steps, and entering the ring with a microphone in hand)
Kawajai: What could Impact possibly have to say? We all saw what he did to Jamie O’Hara when he effectively ended O’Hara’s chances of retaining that World Heavyweight Championship and gift-wrapped the title for Chris Elite!
Nick Angel: Let’s not discount Elite’s contributions, now. But in the meantime, look at Impact, so confident, so proud of himself with that microphone in his hand, ready to launch his words into the EAW stratosphere like a grenade.
(Impact surveys a largely booing capacity crowd with some cheers muffled in that are ultimately drowned out by the serenade of disapproval, appearing wholly satisfied with their reaction as he holds the microphone up against his mouth)
(Impact holds his microphone down once again, taking in the boos from the crowd, waiting for them to give him their complete, undivided attention. This seems to only intensify the boos as Impact holds his microphone up again, appearing ready to talk…)
Impact: The boo birds are singing early tonight. Come on, sing for me. Stoke this fire before you go home to sleep with your own sisters. I love it. When people don’t give a shit about you, they’re silent. They let you do your own thing. Apathy is far worse than hatred, after all.
(Impact pauses for a brief moment)
Impact: Of course, that’s not why I’m out here tonight. I’m not out here for any of you. I didn’t come back for any of you. To be honest, my contract doesn’t even stipulate that I HAVE to wrestle on Voltage. So, congratulations, you guys can run with some fake narrative that I’m a lazy part-timer or whatever you call legends that earned their stripes by etching their marks in history time and time again. I bitched so many of these cats I turned the whole of EAW into Empire. And don’t you sonuvabitches forget that.
(Impact nods, letting the moment breathe as the crowd begins chanting “IMPACT SUCKS!”)
Impact: But no. I’m out here to request an audience with Jamie O’Hara. I know, I know — how could I be civil with the same wrestler whose title reign I ended just over a month ago? But don’t fret. Your big brother isn’t flip-flopping. I’m doubling down. I’m asking for O’Hara to come out here right now so that I can explain why I returned, what paved the way for my resurgence in this company, WHO paved the way to allow me to reintroduce myself. So, O’Hara, I know you’re back there. You’re going to come out here, pop your collar, get a round of applause from these fickle sister-kissing inbreds. You’ve been through it all before. You know the drill. Come on out, O’Hara…
(The crowd stares at the entrance path as “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin (EAW edit) hits and they immediately erupt with cheers, but after several moments, still nobody comes out from behind the curtain. Impact waits for O’Hara, a confused expression on his face)
Kawajai: THERE’S JAMIE O’HARA! HE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND IMPACT, STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CROWD, AND RUNS INTO THE RING, AND IMPACT IMMEDIATELY TURNS AROUND AS HE HEARS THE CROWD REACTION AND IN A SHOCK JUST INSTINCTIVELY PUTS UP HIS FOREARMS TO TRY AND DEFEND HIMSELF!
Nick Angel: But what’s this?? O’Hara isn’t hitting Impact, it was a false flag! O’Hara is handed a microphone by an assistant from the timekeeper’s area immediately upon request
(O’Hara looks into the eyes of Impact, who takes a moment to collect himself after O’Hara’s fake sneak attack left him wide-eyed and flustered for an instant. O’Hara then holds the microphone up to his face)
O’Hara: That’s exactly what happened to me. That’s exactly why I lost that World Heavyweight Championship and didn’t get the opportunity to achieve the landmark moment of a year-long reign. You took that from me. You took my holy grail. You act like your hands are clean, but as you’ve heard tonight from this crowd, you’ve already been prosecuted in the court of public opinion. You’ve been prancing around trying to wash your hands of any link to the person you once were in EAW, to your “gimmicks,” trying to convince these people that you’re an “evolved essence,” whatever the hell that means, but maybe even more than that, you’ve been trying to convince yourself you’re an “evolved essence.” I see your actions. I read your body language. In that instant I was going to attack you, you had nothing to lose. No championship. No loved ones. You’ve put everything important to you in the rear view mirror, which begs the question, Impact, what are you really fighting for? Who are you fighting for? You’re not fighting for championships. You’re not fighting for family. You’re not even fighting for pride. “The Quintessential Champion” fought for pride and dignity. “The Machine” fought to stand out from his peers, simply to succeed. But you, the so-called “evolved essence” . . . You’re not fighting for shit.
(The crowd gasps, cheering on Jamie O’Hara, chanting “O-HAR-A!” in rhythmic unison as a surly, ill-tempered expression overcame his face, a vein bulging out of his neck as he holds the microphone up once more)
Impact: You know, Jamie, you should choose your words very carefully. I was going to come out here and give you the step-by-step rundown on why I did, what I did. But it seems like you’d rather bark at me and pick low-hanging fruit, trying to scrutinize and psychoanalyze me and all that other dumb shit you rent-a-psychologists love so much. We’ve all got skeletons in our closets, some more than others — like these insolent gonorrhea-transmitting backwater bumpkins in the crowd who eat chewing gum off the bottom of restaurant tables, for instance (the crowd’s booing picks back up again) — but I’m a changed man for the better. By cutting the dead weight and indulging simply in what I enjoy, my hedonistic desires, worldly pleasures, whatever else… I’ve managed to ascend. I’ve managed to enter a realm that no elitist has ever set foot on before. The Impact of yesteryear, a physical beast, agile and strong enough to neutralize the vast majority of his opponents, but the Impact of today? The Impact of today? Unbound by the shackles of an ungrateful family. Uninhibited by the backwards logic of monogamous relationships. Not interfered with by the laws of man that plague people like you. The Impact of today? An indomitable force not just in body, but also in mind. A luminary that ascended Earth’s planetary hierarchy and levitated above the rest — because ladders were not needed — and hashed out a philosophy that could not be challenged. The Impact of today, Jamie, is…
(In a sudden motion, Jamie drops his microphone and forcefully takes Impact’s microphone from him, holding it up to his mouth as Impact stares in outrage)
Jamie: A cunt.
(“Oohs” and “aahs” are heard from the majority of the capacity crowd. Jamie O’Hara presses the microphone up against Impact’s chest, dropping it as Impact watches it hit to the floor, and walking out of the ring, back up the ramp, not turning his back for a second as “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin (EAW edit) hits. Impact stares at the back of Jamie O’Hara as he walks behind the curtain. Impact is in stunned silence, seething with rage. The camera fades)
( DING DING DING. )
( Rebecca Sawyer is in the ring, ready to make the introductions for the first match. )
Rebecca Sawyer: Our first contest is scheduled for one fall…
( “Let’s Go All The Way” hits and out walks Nemesis onto the stage. His eyes are wide and he alternates between snarling at the booing nose-bleed seat fans and lurching forward towards the ring. )
Rebecca Sawyer: First, from Long Island New York and weighing in at two-hundred and twenty five pounds, The “Tattooed Nightmare” NEEMEESIIIS!
( Just as Nemesis slides into the ring under the bottom rope, his music is cut off by “A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie” and an extremely pumped up Chris Elite sprints onto the stage, followed closely by Big Mike. Both men slow their pace as they start down the ramp, walking close by the barricade on each side and getting the fans riled up and just as excited as they are. )
Kawajai: Nemesis is just bizarre. It’s hard to know what to make of him.
Rebecca Sawyer: And his opponent, from Brooklyn New York and weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, he is the EAW World Heavyweight Champion… CHRIIIS EEELIIIITE!
( Chris stops to talk some trash to the ramp camera before suddenly breaking out into a sprint and jumping onto the ring apron, quickly stepping inside between the top and middle rope. )
Nick Angel: The alpha in EAW right now.
( DING DING DING. )
Nick Angel: Alright ladies and gentlemen here we are getting started in our first contest and here comes Chris Elite to the middle of the ring, looking for a tie-up with nemesis but WOAH! What a forearm smash! Nemesis seemed to be staring out blankly into the fans at god-knows-what when Elite approached him, and responded to Chris trying to turn him around with a stiff forearm to the forehead that’s left the Brooklyn native stunned! Now the tie up commences but Nemesis with the clear advantage here, Chris dealing with the slight size difference on top of that lighting fast blast he received from Nemesis just seconds ago. Nemesis taking control quickly, putting Elite in a side headlock and really wrenching Elite’s neck from side to side. Look at that! That’s vicious!
Kawajai: No kidding, and I have a feeling Nemesis is far from done! Here we go, Nemesis has brought Elite’s posture back up and released the headlock only to wrap his arms around the man and DROP him with a punishing belly to belly suplex! Is Chris Elite in trouble here? We’ve definitely seen zero hesitation from Nemesis and it doesn’t look like Chris was expecting such an explosive start from the clown. nemesis now stooped over Chris Elite, attempting to pull him to his feet and-OH! Did you hear that?! A sickening crack as Chris throws his right leg up and catches Nemesis in the forehead with a sharp kick, hey I bet that’s payback for the forearm earlier! nemesis stumbles back and Elite kips up to his feet and IMMEDIATELY bounces off the ropes, coming back Nemesis’ way at a full on sprint…
Nick Angel: … AND BOOM! WHAT A SCISSORS KICK BY CHRIS ELITE! THE ATHLETICISM OF THIS MAN! Nemesis is down and here comes Elite to see if he can captialize with an early fall!
Kawajai: Nemesis gets his shoulder up! Chris looks disappointed but only for a second, he’s back on his feet in an instant and pulling the Tattooed Nightmare back up to a standing position as fast as he can. Elite throws a few ncie right hands into Nemesis’ jaw, leaving the slightly bigger man a bit stunned yet as Elite bounces off the ropes again and jumps up, BUT WHATEVER CHRIS WAS PLANNING HAS JUST BEEN PUT ON HOLD BECAUSE NEMESIS HAS CAUGHT HIM! And with a quick reposition, FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX BY NEMESIS, AND HE’S HELD IT ON FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT!
Nick Angel: KICKOUT! Chris Elite is still holding on! Two close calls within sixty seconds, this is exciting! Nemesis makes it back to his feet but Elite isn’t far behind, using the ring ropes to help himself up. Here comes Nemesis, what has he got planned? Ouch! A vicious kick to the gut from Nemesis, and a powerful Irish whip into the corner. Nemesis now absolutely laying into the cornered Elite with punches! nemesis makes it to seven punches in total before Elite throws his arm up and blocks the eight! Nemesis wasn’t ready for the block, BUT ELITE SURE WAS! FIVE BOROUGH COMBO! AND AN AXE KICK TO THE ALREADY DOWNED NEMESIS!
Kawajai: Hold on, Elite is eyeing that turnbuckle! Chris Elite leaps up to the top turnbuckle directly from the canvas, PEOPLE’S MOONSAULT! NO! NEMESIS MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, AND ELITE CRASHES TO THE MAT ALONE! Nemesis waists no time in lifting Elite up and dropping him with a Scoop Slam! And he’s not finished either! A few stomps to Chris’s skull courtesy of Nemesis, and he’s lifting “Money Makin’ Bhris” up for a second time! Here’s the neckbreaker set up, BUT NO! Chris fights his way out of the hold and Nemesis turns around, WHAT A SHOOT KICK BY CHRIS ELITE! nemesis is clearly dazed, can Chris capitalize? Elite takes a couple steps back and… ROLLING THUNDER DDT! CHRIS ELITE WITH THE COVER!
Nick Angel: NO! Kickout by Nemesis! Elite looks frustrated, but he hasn’t given up yet! Chris Elite pops up to his feet and runs over to the turnbuckle, ascending it has fast as he can… BUT WAIT NEMESIS IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM! The two trade blows but Nemesis gets the upper hand… SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE! MY GOD! With Nemesis try for the pin? Apparently not! What the hell is he doing?!
Kawajai: It’s obvious Nick, he’s heading for the top rope! He’s waiting for Elite to make it back to his feet, is it time! IT IS! THREE RING SPLASH-WAIT HOLY HELL! NEMESIS INTERCEPTED WITH THE BOX OFFICE SMASH IN MID-AIR BY ELITE! COVER!
( DING DING DING. )
( “A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie” starts playing as the referee raises a somewhat breathless Chris Elite’s hand in victory. Elite grabs his World Heavyweight Championship from the timekeeper’s area and walks back up the ramp)
Rebecca Sawyer: The winner of this match by pinfall… CHRISSS EITEEE!!!!
Kawajai: A valiant effort by the deranged Nemesis to subdue the World Heavyweight Champion, but he ultimately will be going home empty-handed as Elite notches another victory under his belt.
Nick Angel: Just proving yet again why he’s at the pinnacle of EAW’s food chain right now.
(Camera pans to ringside where “Beat The Devil’s Tattoo” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club hits as Ahren Fournier walks out with his Interwire Championship around his waist. He is greeted by a chorus of boos from the fans as he surveys the audience for a solitary second before switching his focus to the ring ahead of him)
RA: The following match is scheduled for one fall. It is your main event of the evening and a Champion vs. Champion bout! Introducing first, from Pawtucket, Rhode Island, weighing in at 210 pounds… He is the INTERWIREEEE CHAMPIONN…. AHREENNNNNNNN FOURNIERRRRR!!!
Kawajai: Fournier’s definitely got something to prove. Both him and The Revenant have fairly recently become champions of their respective divisions, but only man can win out and be the dominant dog.
(“For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica hits as The Revenant Michael Bishop walks out from behind the curtain. Unlike Ahren Fournier whose Interwire Championship is draped around his waist, The Revenant has opted to sling the New Breed Championship over his shoulder. He walks confidently down the ramp, not a care in the world, nodding his head as he walks over and hands his New Breed title to an assistant who then positions it in the timekeeper’s area)
RA: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 245 pounds… He is the NEW! BREED! CHAMPIOOOOON… “The Dreadknight” THE REVENANTTTTTTTT!!!!!
Nick Angel: Michael Bishop is a guy who can hang with the best of them. Physically, there may not be a superstar on the EAW roster with as diverse an offensive arsenal as The Revenant. His mastery of the ground game is something he uses to floor competitors everywhere. His MMA background has served him excellently in his EAW career, and if he wants to beat the Interwire Champion, he’s going to have to employ those tactics efficiently tonight. Fournier has a way of taking the energy out of his opposition.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Kawajai: This star-studded Champion vs. Champion bout is underway! The newly crowned New Breed Champion The Revenant is trying to incite Ahren Fournier, trying to get him on the attack in the early going of this match up, and Ahren Fournier isn’t one to chicken out as he dives in head-first and initiates a tie-up with The Revenant! Not so sure that’s such a great idea given the mixed martial arts background of The Revenant. The Revenant immediately out-grapples the Interwire Champion Ahren Fournier and gains position on him, applying a waistlock, but Fournier isn’t one to be outdone as he uses the heel of his boot to connect with an athletic kick to the back of The Revenant’s calf, breaking up the waistlock on the process! The Revenant clutches his back calf for a brief moment, giving Ahren Fournier a window of opportunity to dash forward and connect with a clothesline on Revenant! Ahren Fournier immediately forces The Revenant back up to his feet. Ahren Fournier connects with a knife-edged chop to The Revenant which sends him staggering back, pressing him against the turnbuckles, and now an elbow to the turnbuckle-cornered Revenant by Ahren Fournier! Ahren Fournier walks back to the center of the ring making a “wiping hands” gesture as he stares at the crowd, but as he turns around it’s The Revenant sprinting toward him with a whole head of steam, and an attempted leg takedown by The Revenant!
Nick Angel: But Ahren Fournier catches Revenant in the nick of time, not allowing Revenant to take him down as Fournier bashes Rev across the back with a forearm smash to temporarily separate the two — and Revenant catches the leg of Ahren Fournier as Fournier went for a kick to the groin, but Fournier immediately uses that as an assist to connect with the step-up enziguri to the temple of The Revenant! Revenant looks groggy after that one, it’s a lot like being beaned in the head if you’re familiar with baseball terminology! Shockingly, The Revenant with all of his might and power manages to stand up, but his arms are flailing backwards as if he’s about to fall down! AND QUICKLY AHREN FOURNIER TRIES TO CAPITALIZE WITH A SMALL PACKAGE PIN ON THE REVENANT! HE’S STUNNED! THIS MIGHT DO IT!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!… TWOOOOOOOOO….
Kawajai: BUT A KICKOUT BY THE REVENANT! Ahren Fournier doesn’t waste any time sulking over the near-fall as he gets on top of The Revenant and begins wailing away at his face with clubbing, legal, open-fist shots! You can hear the pain of The Revenant with every shot he takes from the open hand of our Interwire Champion, and finally Ahren Fournier gets off of The Revenant! Not for The Revenant’s sake, of course, Fournier is just catching his breath and exhaling after the damage he delivered to Rev just now! You can see the face of The Revenant reddening. I’m not sure if anyone’s manhandled The Revenant like this thus far. He’s taken his lumps for sure but Ahren Fournier has demonstrated the fact he’s a masterful tactician in SPADES here tonight. Ahren Fournier connects with a boot stomp to the shoulder of the grounded Revenant, kicking him over so that he’s positioned chest-first against the mat, and now showing considerable strength as Fournier applies a grounded waistlock to The Revenant and aggressively forces him back to a vertical base while still in that waistlock position! AND A SNAP GERMAN SUPLEX FROM AHREN FOURNIER — DID THE REVENANT LAND ON HIS HEAD?? I THINK HE DID, AND WITH SUCH IMMENSE FORCE BY FOURNIER! FOURNIER ISN’T GOING FOR THE COVER, HE’S TRYING TO SET THE REVENANT UP FOR THE BIG ONE RIGHT HERE! FOURNIER IS STALKING THE REVENANT, ALMOST FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, GESTICULATING WITH HIS HANDS FOR THE REVENANT TO GET UP SO HE CAN END THIS MATCH!
Fournier (no mic): GET UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Nick Angel: AND THE REVENANT IS HALF-WAY UP. HIS LEGS ARE STILL GROUNDED BUT HIS BODY IS HALF-WAY UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING, AND IMMEDIATELY ON CUE AHREN FOURNIER DARTS FORWARD AND LEAPS LIKE HE CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF A LAUNCHING PAD — STORYBOOK ENDING! STORYBOOK ENDING CURB STOMP ON THE REVENANT!
Kawajai: BUT AS AHREN FOURNIER WAS TRYING TO FORCE HIS BOOT DOWN ON THE BACK OF THE REVENANT’S HEAD AND END THIS MATCH, THE RUG IS SWEPT OUT FROM UNDERNATH FOURNIER AS HE BOBS HIS HEAD INWARD TO AVOID THE PUNISHING IMPACT OF AHREN FOURNIER’S STORYBOOK ENDING — ESCAPING LIKE A GAZELLE FROM THE HAND OF A HUNTER — AS THE REVENANT’S MOMENTUM SEES HIM BOUNCING OFF THE ROPES, AND AHREN FOURNIER HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S AWAITING HIM AS HE’S STILL IN MOMENTARY SHOCK FROM THE STORYBOOK ENDING NOT CONNECTING — AND A CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL BY THE REVENANT THAT ABSOLUTELY KNOCKS AHREN FOURNIER’S BLOCK OFF! YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHEN THE REVENANT WAS GOING TO HIT, OR EVEN IF HE WAS GOING TO HIT WITH THE WAY THIS MATCHUP WAS TURNING OUT, BUT THE REVENANT JUST CAPITALIZED ON A SMALL WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY AND OBLITERATED AHREN FOURNIER! THE LIFE FORCE HAS BEEN KNOCKED FROM HIS BODY! THE REVENANT COLLAPSES OVER FOURNIER FOR THE COVER, HOOKING THE LEG!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!…. TWOOOOOOOOO…. THRRR—
Nick Angel: BUT A SHOCK KICKOUT FROM AHREN FOURNIER! ON INSTINCT ALONE, AHREN FOURNIER KICKS OUT OF THAT CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! WHAT A STUNNING SEQUENCE THAT HAS JUST TAKEN PLACE. AHREN FOURNIER HAD SUCCESSFULLY SUBDUED THE REVENANT FOR THE MAJORITY OF THIS MATCH THUS FAR, AND RIGHT AS HE WAS ABOUT TO END IT WITH HIS PATENTED STORYBOOK ENDING, THE REVENANT MOVED OUT OF THE WAY JUST A FEW INCHES SHORT OF FOURNIER’S BOOT CONNECTING WITH THE BACK OF THE REVENANT’S HEAD! REVENANT STARES INCREDULOUSLY AT THE REFEREE, SIGNALLING THAT HE THOUGHT IT WAS A THREE COUNT, BUT THAT’S NOT GOING TO MAKE A BIT OF DIFFERENCE! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME AND FINISH THIS, REV!
Kawajai: Real nonpartisan observer you are, Nick! The Revenant yanks Ahren Fournier back up to his feet by the shoulder, but I’m not sure that was the greatest idea as The Revenant himself is still shaken up by the onslaught he suffered at the hands of Fournier for the majority of this match! The Revenant connects with a clubbing, closed-fist blow to the temple of Fournier! That sends Fournier staggering back, but immediately The Revenant is warned by the referee that if he does that again he’s going to get disqualified! The Revenant’s throwing caution to the wind as he positions himself on the opposite corner of the ring, his back pressed up against the turnbuckles and Fournier’s pressed up against the turnbuckles on the other side, and The Revenant DASHES AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF WITH A BIG BOOT TO AHREN FOURNIER — BUT NOBODY’S HOME! NOBODY’S HOME ON THAT BIG BOOT, AND THE BOOT OF THE REVENANT IS CAUGHT UP IN THE CORNER — AND AHREN FOURNIER IMMEDIATELY YANKS ON THE TIGHTS OF THE REVENANT, PULLING HIM BACK ON THE RING, A ROLL-UP FROM BEHIND ON THE REVENANT!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!…. TWOOOOOOOO!!!!….
Nick: AHREN’S FOOT IS OVER THE ROPE FOR LEVERAGE, THE REFEREE ISN’T SEEING IT!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Beat The Devil’s Tattoo” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club hits as the referee raises Ahren Fournier’s arm. The crowd boos as Ahren wears a self-congratulating smirk on his face, rolling out of the ring and walking up the ramp holding his Interwire Championship)
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match by pinfall… AHREN FOURNIERRRRR!!!!
Kawajai: The Interwire Champion did it tonight, but not without significant help. The referee didn’t notice his foot was on the rope after the count of two, and who knows if Rev kicks out if Ahren doesn’t have that leverage on him?
Nick Angel: I don’t like it, either, but it is what it is. Fournier used the resources at his disposal and he weighed the benefits of putting his foot on the rope against the cons. Ultimately one man came out the winner and one came out the loser. But does this really determine who the preeminent champion among these two is?
Kawajai: I don’t think you can say definitively that it does. What an impressive athletic effort by both men despite the janky, somewhat unsatisfying finish. We’ll see these two men cross paths in the future again, I’m sure…
Nick Angel: But that’s it for Voltage tonight, folks! From The Cairo Stadium Indoor Halls Complex in Cairo, Egypt, I’m Nick Angel and this is my broadcast colleague Kawajai… Signing off!
(EAW logo buzzes)