EAW Cruise Control: Episode 1
A GET IN THE SEA PRODUCTIONS
(The sound of a car turning on is heard, and we can hear the engine rev. The camera pans through a parking lot, and we see a lot of different models of cars.)
Narrator: After an action-packed episode of Dynasty live from the BMO Harris Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Jamie O’Hara and Cameron Ella Ava are set to travel to Detroit, Michigan! This ride will approximately take around 6 hours to complete with a total of 373 miles to travel, but the happy couple are ready to enjoy each other’s company!
(We cut to Jamie O’Hara and Cameron Ella Ava walking through the parking lot, carrying their luggage. Jamie is wearing a black polo T-shirt and long denim jeans, and Cam is wearing a blue dress.)
Cameron: Are you going to drive, babe?
Jamie: Yeah I’ll drive.
(The two reach their vehicle – a Black 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Jamie opens the boot of the car and puts his luggage in.)
Jamie: Here, allow me.
(Jamie takes Cam’s luggage and starts packing it in the back, and Cam thanks her by giving him a kiss on the cheek. Cam walks around to the passenger seat of the car as the narrator continues to speak…)
Narrator: For the Elitists and Vixens of Elite Answers Wrestling, it is a road that never ends! YOU get to watch these wrestlers travel from city to city! This is their journey! This is their ride! THIS…
(Cam gets into the car. As Jamie finishes loading the car full of their bags, the car drives off almost immediately, with all of their luggage falling out the back…)
Narrator: …IS EAW CRUISE CONTROL!!
(We cut to inside the car, and we get a view of Cameron in the passenger seat and Shimmer in the driver’s seat…)
(Cam looks behind her and her view of Jamie O’Hara throwing his luggage around the parking lot out of frustration begins to get smaller and smaller. She turns back, a little mad, as the car comes to a stop. She looks slowly over to Shimmer, who has a cheese-eating grin on his face.)
Shimmer: Ya miss me?
(Cam can’t help but smile now, and lets out a giggle.)
Cam: Alright, yeah, a little.
(The car leaves the arena and down the street…)
Cam: But hold on, Jamie and I were driving to next week’s Dynasty in Detroit.
Shimmer: Well my beautiful lady friend, let us travel to Empire then. Your next show! How far is it?!
Cam: What, Utah?
Cam: From here?
Cam: It’s a 22 hour drive.
Shimmer: Well, strap yourself in because we’re going to be here a while! And I want us to make the most of it … here.
(Shimmer reaches forward over towards Cam and opens the glove box and pulls out Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” album. He opens the case, takes out the disc and puts it into the CD player of the car. The song “Let’s Get It On” begins playing and Cam facepalms, and shakes her head accordingly, holding back laughter…)
Shimmer: I’VE BEEN REAAAALLYY TRRRYYYIIIINN’ BAABBYYY!!!
Cam: Oh my lord.
Shimmer: TRYNA HOLD BACK THIS FEEEELLINGG FOR SOOOO LOOOONGG!!
Cam: Please, oh god stop.
Shimmer: AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE I FEEEEEL BAAABBBYYY!! ….. THEN COME ON … OH COME ON!! LET’S GET IT OOOONNNNNNN!!
(Cam reaches forward and presses the pause button the CD player.)
Cam: Listen, we can’t DRIVE to Utah from here. Honestly I would really like it if you turned around so we can pick up my man, but I KNOW you won’t do that, so let us just drive to Detroit, I’ll text Jamie to tell him we will meet him there. I promise you though, he will NOT be happy once he sees you.
Shimmer: Pleeeeeeeease, Cammy. I am the type of person that brightens up the room when I step foot inside of it!
Cam: …is that because of your glittery face paint and gold attire?
Shimmer: Oh, you insult me, so! Marvin wouldn’t do this to me!
(Shimmer presses play on the CD player, but almost immediately Cam presses pause again.)
Cam: Enough of Marvin thank you.
Shimmer: Well I do apologize madam. I am sorry I do not have any podcasts of Laci Green in that glove box… I happened to have left that in the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile.
Cam: Where is that, by the way?
Shimmer: One must not reveal its secret location.
Cam: Awww, you suck.
(We cut to a map showing the distance between Milwaukee and Detroit. We move forward in time a little bit and the two have now travelled 110 miles. The time is now 1am. We cut back to the car and the two are pulling into a McDonald’s drive thru…)
Cam: Why are we pulling into here?
Shimmer: Because I’m hungry.
Cam: Ohhh, can we not get McDonald’s? I’m sort of watching what I eat.
Shimmer: Erm, why?
Cam: Because I’m a talented and sexy professional athlete that competes almost every night?
Shimmer: Oh please, we are all just going to end up dead anyway. Who cares what you eat? Besides, they have a salad menu!
(The car pulls up to the drive-thru speaker, where the speaker box has some static problems.)
Fast Food Employee: Welchheomme to Mcdochhhhonalds plecchhee order when you’re reacchhhhdyy.
Shimmer (to Cam): Seriously? It’s 2017, how does the most rich fast food chain in the world have these shitty speaker boxes …. Uh, hi! I’ll have a a Large Bic Mac meal with extra cheese, 18 McNuggets, an egg white delight mcmuffin, four large fries, a hotdog, one piece of carrot, a coffee cup but with no coffee in it, three cups of ice and a coca cola!
Cam: …And some apple slices.
Shimmer: And some apple slices!
Fast Food Employee: Chhhhhhokay.
Shimmer: Uh, can you read that back to me?
Fast Food Employee: Chhhh uhhhbbuuuhhh pickles?
Fast Food Employee: Chhhhhh uhhhhbbbuuuhhhhh chhhpickles, cchhhhhhhmacbig, chhhhhh two chhhhhorses chhhhaannd a water.
Shimmer: What?! That’s not at all what I ordered!
Fast Food Employee: That’ll be $29.95 drive through please.
Shimmer: I- … wait NO! Hold up!
(Silence from the speaker…)
Cam: Just drive up. I’m hungry.
Shimmer: Oh yeah, those six apple slices are REALLY going to fill you up!
(The car begins to move forward…)
Shimmer: Oh, that reminds me. I’m going to need you to pay.
Cam: What?! Why?!
Shimmer: I left my wallet in the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile.
Cam: So you’re telling me you’ve been driving around for nearly three hours without your wallet.
Shimmer: Uhh, yes sir.
Cam: Well my wallet was in my bag which is with Jamie.
Shimmer (pulling up to the window): So no licence, no money … shit.
Fast Food Employee: Hi there! That’ll be $29.95- AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(The fast food employee gets a glimpse of Shimmer in his face paint and golden clothing, and runs away…)
Shimmer: Huh, I guess our order is free then?
(We cut now back onto the road, and Shimmer and Cam are enjoying their free McDonald’s.)
Cam: How is your Big Mac?
Shimmer: Delicious. How are your … apples?
Cam: Delicious. Surprisingly filling.
Shimmer: I bet they stuffed those apples with fat and sugar. AND NOW IT’S INSIDE OF YOU, MADAM CAMERON! MWAHAHAHAHA!
(We cut back to the map, showing where the two are currently at in their travels…)
Narrator: The two have now travelled a total of 260 miles. It is now 6:00am, and the sun is beginning to rise on the horizon. After one guy from the camera crew for Cruise Control gave Cam and Shimmer $40 to fill up their car, the two continue their trek into Detroit as they are now coming up at Battle Creek, Michigan!
Cam: Battle Creek, Michigan. We have that crazy house show story here.
Shimmer: Ohhhhhh yeeeeeeees. I shall never forget that one night where I was your illustrious tag team partner.
Cam: Illustrious?! Definitely not the right word for this situation. Bizaare more like. When Kendra Shamez couldn’t make that show and I needed a partner against Alexis and Maddie, you should have seen how much I was panicking backstage.
Shimmer: The great Cameron Ella Ava panicking. I thought my girl was strooooong.
Cam: Well when I found out my sister wasn’t available to fill in either that’s when the panic kicked in. The show was advertising a tag team match and we couldn’t let these fans down.
Shimmer: You right. Fans probably would have murdered you because you lied to them.
Cam: Yeah, Detroit right?
Shimmer: Lucky I was there once again to save the day.
Cam: Oh my god when I asked you to fill in I did not expect you to dress up as Consuela and copy her exact moves. I could not keep it together and the crowd loved it all. The reaction from the crowd is exactly how I had hoped it would be. It was an incredible night, and a story I hope to remember for a long, long time.
(We cut back to the map one final time, and the two are now just entering Detroit, Michigan.)
Cam (looking at her phone): Hmm, that’s odd. Jamie wants to meet us somewhere.
Shimmer: He is here already? Oh Jamie, my Jamie … quick on the streets, quick in the sheets.
(Cam slaps Shimmer over the head, and Shimmer makes a weird barking noise.)
Cam: What the fuck? …anyway, he wants to meet us at the Detroit River.
Shimmer: Well lil missy let us make way!
(We cut now to Shimmer and Cam pulling up onto some grass, where Jamie is there waiting leaning against the front bumper of the car, with his arms folded and sunglasses on. The two get out of the car, and Cam without hesitating runs over to Jamie and jumps into his arms.)
Jamie: Glad you made it here safe.
Shimmer: ME NEXT! ME NEXT!
(Shimmer now jumps into Jamie’s arms and hugs him.)
Jamie: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!
Shimmer: What’s the matter, slick? Not happy to see me?
Cam: Jamie… it’s okay. He got me here in one piece. We had a really nice drive. We told lots of stories, made lots of memories.
Jamie: ….okay. I do apologize, Shimmer. You tend to give me bad vibes sometimes. I thank you for getting my girl here in one piece, and I hope a simple handshake will have us both move on from my actions.
(Jamie offers out his hand, and Shimmer looks at it. Shimmer accepts the handshake, and beams with delight. Jamie smirks, before lifting him up onto his shoulders.)
Cam: JAMIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Shimmer: WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I AM AN AIRPLANE! WATCH ME FLY, MOM!
Jamie (walking towards the Detroit River): NEVER DRIVE OFF WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN!
Shimmer: Ohhhh Jamie Jamie Jamie.
Jamie: NOW… GET IN THE FUCKING SEA!!!
Shimmer: Uh, that’s a river.
(Jamie delivers a fireman’s carry into a kneeling takeover into the river. Shimmer’s head slowly rises up from the water, and he smirks as the current takes him away…)
Shimmer: I SHALL SEE YOU BOTH AGAIN BEFORE YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! MWAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu…………..
Jamie: Come on, let’s go.
Cam (sighing): Okay.
(The two hug one final time before making their way to one of the vehicle’s, getting in and driving off……)
END OF EPISODE
Narrator: ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF CRUISE CONTROL!!! Two best friends will travel from Thursday Night Empire to an all-women’s house show! Aria Jaxon and Tarah Nova will have a long ways to drive, but will entertain us all with hilarious stories and tales of both their careers and personal lives!